I don't quite know what is wrong with me. I keep brushing my hair and walking over to my kitchen; standing in front of my fridge with the door open, repeatedly, almost every five minutes or so. Y'know, it wouldn't actually be so bad if there was actually something useful in my fridge, like ice-cream or strawberry cake, but there isn't, and I'm not looking for anything to eat, I'm just staring. It's not like anything overly dramatic has happened in my life, and I can't say I'm stressed - because I have two major assignments all due in less than two weeks
and I am still as yet completely clueless as to how to go about completing them, or to even juggle the time between work and everything else to do them, and I am this close
to biting off all my nails and bursting into tears.
And now I found a wonderful website that has all the episodes of the final season of OC (yes, I'm one of those people who watch the OC, it's the kind of show I hate and yet need to know what happens in every next episode)
for me to watch, and I just click. And click. And click. And click. Sitting alone in the dark with the light from my screen bouncing off my face, wrapped up in a warm jacket, just clicking aimlessly. Surfing the net, going to almost every website in my Bookmarks, which is a lot
, and getting so frustrated at myself because I just cannot seem to find the motivation to work - or do anything remotely productive. It feels like I'm going crazy. And then I think maybe I should just go join a cheerleading squad and quit everything else in life. Just, quit.
The only thing I seem capable of doing at this moment is walking over to my kitchen, opening my fridge door and staring blankly inside it, biting my nails and running my fingers through my hair. Repeatedly, almost every five minutes or so.
And for the record, I'm not even a nail-biter.
Labels: assignments, moody, stress