Monday, May 7, 2007; 10:23 PM
You come around
When I feel really crappy, I prefer to be left alone.

But when I am alone, I feel lonely.

It's so shitty. What I need is our comfortable silences. Or the shoulder of a best friend to rest upon.

I was so exhausted from absolutely everything, that today, for the first time ever, I fell asleep during the lecture. As I jolted myself awake in shock, you were looking at me, and I wanted to cry. Now you're not talking to me anymore, and I wandered the streets alone, then punched my wall so hard when I got home that my knuckles are all bruised now. It was a combination of lack of sleep, stress, and my failure to plaster that smile across my face as it usually always is.

Last night was great, you were about to leave when I arrived at the party, so you ended up staying instead and we exchanged glances and drinks and then we got home and you told me you plan to sleep in so you don't have to wait too long till you next see me again. I was cold and shivering and you took your jacket off halfway, then I saw you mentally decide against it because all our friends were around us, and you turned bright red. McGeek and I hugged in front of you and in retaliation you drank from the same bottle as MissPretty and we both seethed in a childish stupor, but after a while we smiled and you said you would do anything for me.

Today we're not talking because of some stupid, childish, petty reason that even I can't put my finger on, or maybe it's just because you have your sunglasses on and your cold McCool self is coming out to play again. Maybe it's me and my moody shit, walking away in silence just like that, without so much as a glance back. But I've grown so used to having you around that the sudden absence is irritating, irksome, and doubles my exhaustion tenfold.

Ugh, whatever.

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