Sunday, October 7, 2007; 1:58 AM
The Dinner
I survived!

Granted - it rained the moment I stepped out of my door and I had to run to the train station soaking wet and then the trams didn't run and we showed up half an hour late and my order was the last to arrive.... but it went okay.

GAAAHHH WHO AM I KIDDING.

It wasn't really okay, per se. I was all ready, dressed up in a pretty white lace top, clean jeans, fresh hair, my manners all primped and ready to create some fireworks.
ALAS.
Nobody spoke to me. D:

Well. I got his sister a pretty bracelet and was seated next to his mother and after a quick round of Hellos and smiles, everyone turned to everyone else and began to talk whilst I was left sitting there like a hen in the rain. It was a really really nice restaurant, the fancy kind, and everyone looked lovely - his sister is simply gorgeous, I couldn't help but feel slightly conscious about my desperately glossed nails and simple conditioned hair when I looked at her immaculate makeup, pretty shiny manicures, and perfect hair. She's so stunning, I feel like I need to try harder appearance-wise, if only to please my boyfriend.

But yes, it was arkward. On one side of the table his cousins were conversing brightly among themselves, and on the other side, his mother and sisters were conversing brightly among themselves, each group in a different language which - although I could understand both languages - I had to listen very intently to try and completely get the gist of the conversations, as neither of them were my native tongue. So there I was, just sitting there quietly - smiling at their words and trying to make conversation - but unfortunately I seemed quite invisible.

His sisters did speak to me....a little. A few sentences perhaps. ONE of his cousins (note: plural cousinS) spoke to me a little as well, so I suppose it wasn't entirely a failure. Hey, I tried! It's just that my family and his family are so different...with my family if there is someone new at the table, we will definitely try and involve him/her in the conversation, ESPECIALLY if it's someone's partner. But according to the boy, with his family, they have a tendency to ignore 'strangers' altogether. *sigh* I suppose it will take time, but I couldn't help but feel completely left out and ostracised at that dinner table. It was a struggle to get through. =(

It wasn't all bad though. My boyfriend said I looked beautiful in my dress and he was perfect last night, holding my hand warmly all the way through dinner and whispering words of encouragement in my ear every now and then, and then spent the night holding me to sleep at my place so I wouldn't be alone. Not once did he leave my side, although I was really quite expecting him to abandoneth his fair maiden!

I tried! I tried! I did my best to appear friendly and interested and 'shyly sweet' (according to Google)!! D: Ahh, all that effort. I was a bit distressed that nobody seemed to want to speak to me at all, but it's okay, he was by my side. I need to get along with these people and I will, I will! Gaahh!! At least I survived last night, I survived! I didn't do anything embarassing or weird or say anything out of place! I survived! I'm determined to be accepted by his family someday, for his sake, I will!

With time, better days are gonna come. =) Hey, at least he thinks I'm beautiful.

And tomorrow it's back to work, entrenched in that wretched cafe, slaving my days away to earn a few extra bucks in my wallet.

Tonight I will fall asleep in my messed-up bed, sniffing his empty scent on the pillow beside me and willing for Monday to come all too soon.

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3 Comments:
Blogger kuraaku said...
I'm glad you survived! At least you didn't make a fool of yourself or anything like I'm sure I would have done. That's kind of strange how they didn't speak to you at all... but I guess it's just the way they are. I'm sure you left a good impression. ^^

Blogger kuraaku said...
lol, this is Tash by the way. I don't know if my name is different or not but I changed my blogger since I couldn't remember my password for the other one. Yeah...

Blogger Yin said...
ooh its you! I was wondering who kuraaku was. ^^

Yeah, I felt quite bad that they didn't speak to me...but hopefully with time they'll come to accept me. I guess the language barrier is a bit of the problem as well. *sigh*