Saturday, March 31, 2007; 9:46 PM
I almost died today, but not really
It's funny how, just yesterday, I was having an engrossing discussion with Christine at the barn about the dangers of being around horses, and we laughed at people who were scared of them and proudly declared, "You just have to be alert and know how to act around them!"

Fact is, you could study horses for a lifetime and still discover new things about them every day.

Pride comes before a fall, and perhaps we really shouldn't have made snide remarks about people who are afraid of horses yesterday, because I think I jinxed myself then - which led to this incident.

I'm working at the barn today, and I was taking Shrimpy back out to the paddock after his lesson. The galloways were all having a fine time chomping down on some bread we had given them as a treat, and I led Shrimpy through the gates as usual, keeping one eye carefully on all the other horses - because with food around, horses go a little haywire and I don't really want to risk my neck for a bit of bread.

Anyways, making sure the coast was clear, I turned Shrimpy round to take off his halter. As I reached up for the buckle - WHAM - he was flung sideways, all 1200 pounds of him. I was pushed back, but I jumped aside just in time, and the next thing I know, he was almost on top of me. Bana had appeared from out of nowhere, ears back, teeth bared, all his powerful hindquarters hunched up to aim a massive two-barrel kick at Shrimpy.

Shrimpy and I were pulled up backwards and he was right in front of me - literally, inches from my face - and he reared up in fright - for one short moment which felt like an eternity, I seriously thought his front hooves would come crashing right down on me, possibly breaking all my ribs and through my skull. But thankfully Shrimpy loves me, and in that heart-stopping moment I saw him look right into me with his panic-stricken eyes; through the chaos he jolted back, missing me by inches. I felt the dirt hit my face, and was slammed back into the fence, the impact knocking all the wind out of me, and the first thing I thought of was Shrimpy's safety, and thank heavens I had enough sense to let go of his rope.

That wasn't it though, the very next second Bana started kicking madly - and this was no normal little pony-tantrum kicks - this was a seriously angry horse crazy 1200 pound kick with pure intent to deal severe damage. He kicked out at Shrimpy multiple times, and it didn't help that Shrimpy was right in front of my face, trying to hit back. Bana's lethal flying hooves missed me by literally centimetres, I was slammed into the fence, I couldn't move back anymore and there were his hooves passing just inches in front of my nose - then one devastating blow scraped my wrist by just a fraction, just grazing the skin off my wrist, and it started bleeding, and all I could hear was frenzied whinnies, flying hooves and dirt, and my voice in my brain yelling to myself, "F*ck, dammit, get out of the way, get out of the way! Get out of the way!"

Shrimpy wheeled around and all the other horses came running up. Bana was still kicking out, trying to hit him - and ended up giving the strong, iron gate a few powerful kicks - get this, he actually bent that sturdy, iron gate out of shape and almost pulled the locked post out of the ground.

Suddenly I found myself in a whirl of horses, and with a horrid feeling in my stomach, saw that Shrimpy still had his halter and lead rope attached, with Bana chasing after him, that brute of a horse. I swore a little, maybe, Bana you fool horse, and tried to calm him down. Shrimpy stepped on his rope a few times, trying to get away from Bana, everytime he did I had a little heart attack. Finally I got close enough to desperately pull the halter off him, before Bana decided to launch another assasination attempt.

It wasn't until I got myself safely out of the paddock and stopped to catch my breath did I realize just how crazily dangerous that was. I barely felt the pain in my wrist, and only as I clamped down on it to stop the bleeding did I thank God that it just grazed me, or else I would definitely have a broken wrist and quite possibly a concussion. If Bana's hooves had been just a few inches off target, I would have been in grave life-threathening danger.

Although I didn't see my life flash in front of my eyes, or a blinding white tunnel, or anything like that. I did have a blank moment though, when Shrimpy's front hooves threathened to crush my skull and our eyes met. It was almost like everything just stopped for moment, like in the movies where they just freeze-frame everything, even the beating of my heart.

Wow. What a moment.

I still haven't learnt my lesson though, because far from being scared, after I had caught my breath, I returned to the same paddock with Dart, who kicked out lazily at Pride as I pulled off his halter, and started laughing at the excitement of it all.

Oh, I love my job. ♥

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I love how our conversations are always so deep and meaningful.

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Friday, March 30, 2007; 5:34 PM
If you dig a little deeper you might find me
The thing about having 'real' friends is that you can say just about whatever and know that your message will get through. I tell Mighty Joe Young to 'Shut Up' and 'Go Away' on an average of at least 30 times a day, but he knows that I don't really mean for him to shut up - or go away, for that matter. Which is why he never does shut up or go away, on the rare occasion that he does, I still tell him to shut up and go away anyway.

It's like how Sammy punches me on an average of at least 55 times a day, but it's never a real, I-hate-your-guts kind of punch. Heck, she's even slapped me in the face before, which resulted in us falling to the ground in maniacal laughter. May I add that this incident happened whilst we were in the lift - and a pretty crowded one at that - when I probably said something silly, hence the slap. I actually think she might've been aiming for my shoulder but got me nicely across the face instead. Whatever, it was funny when it happened. I know it doesn't sound very appealing, but at that moment, it was hysterical.

But that's only because it's Sammy. If it had been anyone else other than those two imbeciles (although MJY is much too gentlemanly to hit a girl), I probably would've slapped right back, without a fraction's hesitation.

It's odd to have friends. MJY and Sammy pretty much understand me as much as I understand myself, perhaps more even. Sammy knows all too well that I don't quite know how to handle compliments, and every time she, or someone else compliments me, she will handle it on my behalf. For example, the other day she told me my earrings were cool, and I stood there like a bumbling fool, not quite knowing how to react - and she roared with laughter and punched me so hard I flew all the way across the other end of the studio, only grabbing onto MJY for dear life. Then, "Shut up and just accept the compliment! You have cool earrings, done!"

And they can tell by the way I act, speak - or the look I have on my face, pretty much what I'm thinking or feeling. It's a rather uncanny ability they've developed, and MJY can tell by the little squint in my eye or my pursed up lips that, no, I do not want to leave my work to go down for coffee but I'll feel bad saying so, and thus finding someone else to go down with him. Which is pretty cool, IMO.

I can also tell when Sammy wants some time to herself and doesn't want to hang out, or when she doesn't want to talk to me, or she's not in the mood for stupid Yin jokes. And the magic is that, if it were 'normal' friends, we would probably be slightly offended, maybe take things a little personally. But with 'real' friends, you know that it's nothing to worry about, and being a pain in the arse is pretty much part of the equation. Brutal honesty helps too, like how I rudely tell MJY he has a double chin and he rudely tells me my face looks like someone threw up on it. Sammy also refers to my internet blogging habits as ridiculously self-centered and a clear sign of me having no life, but then I refer to her TVB obsession and bird-phobia as her being a complete freak of nature. Also, they know perfectly well that a slice of cake or some ice-cream will be an instant cure to my whining, although they also know I'll immediately start whining ten seconds after about how they are doing no favour to my ever-expanding waistline, and do you know how many calories is contained in one bite of cream off the cake?!

All in all, life is pretty sweet at the moment. I have Midnight who constantly has head-butting battles with me, and then I have my insanely crazy friends that I love to death whom make up for a good 90% of my sanity, I have my wonderfully patient boyfriend that I can whine endlessly to and he knows wisely enough not to give me any cake or ice-cream and that the best way is just to shut up and listen, and then there's the best hot chocolate in the world at the Uni cafe, YouTube videos, and everyone and everything else. Yeah, life is pretty sweet.

Also, I just decided to try my hand at cooking French Toast, and managed to cook it for the very first time in my life, and it came out c'est magnifique! Marry me, if only for my ability to cook French Toast for breakfast, including a fruit salad, a glass of orange juice and a flower in a vase, set atop a dear little tray for breakfast in bed.

I would have taken a photo, but I ate it all before my camera could get there. Oops?

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Walking with dinosaurs!
Proof of just how horribly, outrightly straightforward I am.

"Oh Sammy, you have a hickey there!!" I remarked upon seeing the red mark on Sammy's neck as we sat next to each other on the extremely packed train, in a remarkably loud voice. All at once, almost every single head in that crowded tram turned to look at her us.

Sammy screamed and started punching me ferociously, then proceeded to hide behind her hoodie, shaking in uncontrollable laugher, whilst Joe clutched desperately to he handrail, doubled up with the lulz and I convulsed into hysterics as I realized my mistake.

I don't know! I just said it without thinking! It just blurbed out of my lips, like word vomit. Oh, goodness. People on the tram started avoiding eye contact and threw us shifty glances every now and then. Sammy just hid her face and we laughed and laughed and laughed until tears were streaming down our faces. I really need to stop saying outloud everything I think.

But anyways, we went to watch Walking With Dinosaurs : A Live Experience, and it was incredible. ♥ Life-size dinosaurs fighting and roaring and running around a massive stadium, with awesome sound and light effects? Instant win. It was truly awesome, and so much fun! Who didn't love dinosaurs as a kid?! Finally getting to actually see a life-size, moving, living, breathing Brachiosaurus emerge from the fogs and stare straight at you? Childhood dream come true. Man, those animatronics are amazing. When the first dinosaur came out, for a moment my heart stopped for a second because it just looked and moved so frickin' real, I wondered if it could possibly, actually be real. My feelings were probably akin to that of Sam Neil in Jurassic Park.

We loved it. Loved it. Loved every moment of it. Laughed my lungs out. Love my friends.

And now, I'm falling asleep on my keyboard from the 'happy but tired' feeling of it all. I'll post pictures and possibly videos soon. Why do I have a feeling I'll be dreaming of dinosaurs tonight? =)

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007; 7:20 PM
Video post
Since it was so cloudy all day today, the sky has just now - under the span of 15 minutes - turned from a complete hue of bright orange, to pink, and now purple. It's quite breathtaking.

Even more breathtaking is the fact that I'm actually posting twice in a day! :D Hooray, free time!

Plus, I just bought online a pair of very adorable earrings and a new skirt. I shall be broke, but this is why I never took up Daddy's offer on a credit card! xD

So just for the heck of it - and because I'm excited about going to watch TMNT and 300 soon, here's some new movie trailers for upcoming movies that I want to watch!

Evan Almighty

Ahaha! So much crack. Anything with Morgan Freeman is Win! Loves it.

In The Land Of Women

Adam Brody is pretty much the only reason I watch the OC, therefore the same rule should apply to this movie. Other than that, it looks like another cute romantic movie, which I am a sucker for. And Meg Ryan is also Win.

Meet The Robinsons

Oh AHAHAHA the dinosaur! That dinosaur is made of Win.

Room 1408

My gawd, I will do my best to drag Sammy and Joe to watch this with me so we can all scream our heads off silly in the cinemas. I have a love-hate relationship with scary movies. D:

The Golden Compass

Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig and Eva Green plus a polar bear running amok all in one movie?! Hell yeah. Also because I can feel the pain of the animators. Oh god, all those complex models! *hugs my copy of Maya*

I also really want to watch 'Bridge to Terabitha', only there's noone to watch it with me! D: Wonder if Tiffany or Corrine's interested in crying her eyes out with me in a cinema and packets of pink Kleenexes. &hearts

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HAPPINESS!!!
:D

We all changed our elective from Web 'Torture' Programming to Digital Imaging in Photoshop, which means OMG NO MORE SLAVING LIKE HELL OVER THAT STUPID ASSIGNMENTS AND EXAMS AND SLEEPLESS NIGHTS AND RIPPING OUT HAIR AND KILLING MYSELF OMG OMG YES.

:D :D :D

Words cannot express my happiness and relief, I almost started crying when our coordinator said we could switch. All of us trooped up to his office in a massive group - and I mean massive - to get the real deal. So we all signed our enrolment variation forms and then ran all the way down 11 floors of stairs, yelling and running and jumping and whooping for joy. It was insane. Insanely happy! :D

Finally RMIT!! You are doing something right! Never have I heard of throwing a bunch of design and art students headfirst into a hardcore programming subject.

YES I NEVER HAVE TO LOOK AT PHP AND JAVASCRIPT AND CGI EVER AGAIN OMG YES.

So now the only hard thing left is Web 3D, but I can cope with that. Web 3D isn't as bad as Web Programming.

It's so amusing to think of the web programming lecture next week when the lecturer will walk in and find half his class gone. :D

And YES for Flash animation! Yay! Yay yay yay yay. Things are finally starting to look up.

AND THIS MEANS MORE FREE TIME. Digital Imaging is online, so no contact hours! I can actually sleep! I can actually go to work without stressing about time! I can actually have a life!

Which means NEXT TUESDAY IS TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES NIGHT for us! Yes! Whoo hoo, childhood! Me and bro used to love that show!

And tomorrow night we're hitting the Walking With Dinosaurs Exhibition, so omg night out with friends was something I thought would be completely impossible this year. I can't believe it!

Oh, you can't wipe the smile off our faces. Never mind that I pulled an all-nighter last night trying to work on my stupid programming. I don't need to stress about that anymore! I'M SO HAPPY~!!! :D

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007; 11:19 PM
Strange Behaviours
After changing my shoes in the bathroom, wondering if anyone would peer through the gap between the floor and the cubicle door and suspect if I had someone else in there with me, what with two different pair of shoes clunking around, thudding noises and me crying "Ow!" as I accidentally hit my head against the wall, I then made my way into the studio as composed as I could possibly portray, whilst inside my brain was on the brink of exploding.

McCool was sitting by the door, talking with McCutie and Mighty Joe Young. All composure flew out the window, but for once I barely batted an eyelid, completely focusing solely on picking an innocent first year to squash out of their chair so I could use a computer to work on my assignments. Before I could pick a target, however, Mighty Joe Young dragged me into their ongoing conversation. To my surprise, McCool was rather more animated today, and he actually spoke up and cut off MJY to explain a scenario to me. Inwardly, I raised an eyebrow but nothing could faze me now that the lethal combination of assignments and Coffee Bean has started taking its toll. I displayed a less-than-enthusiastic response, much to his surprise - and I was surprised he was surprised, because as I turned and walked away from them nonchalantly, he cried out, "What, is that it?!?

"Well, what did you expect me to say? I mean, I don't..."
I didn't even know how to finish the sentence, because all that is in my brain is Assignment and promptly I spot a free computer and jumped over the table to reach it, flying bag and all, much to the alarm of a lecturer sitting nearby.

Adding more to my surprise, after I logged in and earnestly began gouging my eyes out in despair, McCutie and McCool both sauntered over and sat next to me on the desk - conversing among themselves. I glanced at them in mild surprise, and then I think I understood a little how Meredith Grey felt in the previous few episodes of Grey's Anatomy - but at the moment I was way too busy throwing things at my monitor to care about McCutie or McCool or McHottie or even McNekkidCloud, for that matter.

And then McCool said my name, which made me jump about ten feet from my chair in surprise. C'mon. It's McCool. We never talk, at least not directly. In fact, it never even occured to me he knew my name! As far as I was concerned, I didn't exist to McCool. I am just 'that girl' who hangs out with MJY and Sammy who makes a fool out of herself at the most arkward of moments. And my role in relation to McCool is strictly one of silent fangirling due to the fact that he is a 100% Jin clone, in the flesh.

So he said my name - not just said it, but he said it - he turned to me and he started showing me some nifty Flash animations on his computer. The animations were amazing, but I barely saw them out of the pure shock that is McCool calling me by my name.

Readers, you don't understand the magnitude of this. This is huge. This is massive. My mouth hung open for a good 20 seconds in shock before MJY obligingly advised me that flies would move into a new den if I didn't shut my trap. But who would've thought? Even if he had known my name, we are classmates after all, I never once thought he would actually speak to me so directly.

But anyways. Killed myself again several times over Assignment. Then we all trooped down to the lecture. Tried to concentrate but ended up in epilectic shock over the fact that Assignment is due next week and I'm nowhere near complete. Went to wash my face repeatedly in the bathroom to prevent from screaming out loud. Swallowed several mentos to stop self from falling asleep in exhaustion + freaking out. And then I turned and caught McCool looking at me, although he very swiftly averted his gaze the moment I looked at him. Or maybe it was because my skin was horribly sunburnt and peeling like yesterday's zombies. Or I had coffee and milk stains on my shirt due to multiple coffee explosions in my face at the Bean. Or maybe he wasn't looking at me at all, but merely daydreaming in my direction, as I tend to do myself on numerous occasions. Walls can be fascinating subjects to look at.

After the lecture, I ranted to Neddy a little about assignments, and she very wisely advised me to look at my subject choices, then pick a boyfriend that was good at the subjects so he could help me. xDD MJY declared that this was a tactic worth executing, and I decided I should hold up a card saying, "Wanted : Good in Programming. Plz be my boyfriend??" and Neddy suggested I start making 'friends' with the many boys in Computer Science. xD Arkward silence commences.

After much laughter, I realized I hadn't saved some files, so I headed back up to the studios. Even more surprisingly, McCool and McCutie both silently fell into step beside me as I walked back. It took a fair bit of self-control not to fangirl - McCool and Jin are waaaay too alike, if not for the clothes you'd swear they were twins. And McCutie has always been adorable, so whut. We all went back up to the studios where the boys went off to start chatting to some friends. I hastily picked up my assignment files, wanting to rush home as fast as possible to work on more assignments. The moment I stepped out of the door to head home, McCool and McCutie detached themselves from their friends and fell into step beside me yet again.

Candidly, I remarked, "Wow, it's rare we all leave together like this."

No reply, but I think that's a good thing. We settled into a comfortable silence as we walked back to the train station together. As we stood quietly at the traffic lights, I suddenly realized how tall McCutie and McCool are. I just never realized it before - but now I just so happened to glance at them and realized that they are tall in a wonderfully boyish-manly-pretty way. Uncannily, McCool would be precisely about Jin's height (another similarity?!), and I never realized how tall McCutie was, because I never gave it much thought and spent most of my time teasing and punching him around anyway and always felt like he was about my height, but for the first time tonight I realized that McCutie is actually pretty tall.

For some reason, being a petite girl standing beside suddenly-tall boys makes you realize the gender difference even more.

Chattering, we made our way down to the trains, and I catch a different line than the McBoys. My train was here, and theirs would be a while more, so I went through the barriers first, not wanting to miss my train. Turning, I grinned and waved Goodbye - McCool as usual smiled (he smiled? Okay, something is up. Did the sun rise on the right side of the earth this morning?) and did cool small hand-not-quite-a-wave-but-technically-is thing, and McCutie beamed cutely and waved energetically.

Suddenly I realized that this was no Grey's Anatomy scenario, this was Parfait Tic's Daiya and Ichii, only not really because McCutie & McCool is definitely =/= Daiya and Ichii. It's just the personality contrasts that are similar.

But, but, but, more important issues are at hand than pretty boys!

Right now, I have a few options, if all goes well tomorrow.

- I get to change electives from Web Programming (which is giving me hell) but it's already so late in the semester.

- or I drop Web Programming and take an extra subject next semester to make up (which will be tight and time-inefficient but much easier then struggling through Web Programming this term with the 99% chance that I will fail)

- or I suck it up and keep torturing myself by sticking to it.

I don't know. Thoughts? Suggestions? I don't like quitting either, but I just can't do this. It's not fair, because we weren't given the option to change last semester, but all of a sudden they slack the rules for one student, so we're going in to negotiate that tomorrow. Ugh, I hope things go well. If anything, I'm leaning more towards option 2 myself, as so are a few of the classmates. We still don't get why we're doing this torturous and completely unrelated subject when we're enrolled in a design course. Gawds, RMIT.

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Monday, March 26, 2007; 9:03 PM

"All bloggers are liars, they cheat people using all kinds of methods. From my understanding, out of 10,000 unemployed bloggers, 8,000 are women."

“Bloggers like to spread rumours, they don’t like national unity. Today our country has achievements because we are tolerant and compromising. Otherwise we will have civil war."

"Malays will kill Chinese, Chinese will kill Malays, Indians will kill everybody"

- Malaysian Member of Parliament for Putrajaya Datuk Tengku Adnan Tengku Mansor

Um, yeah, haha. Malaysian goverment cracks me up sometimes. So I suppose my pink!-ified blog filled with posts about bad dreams, cute boys and tv shows is all some discreet, secret ploy to destroy my country. And since my best friend happens to be a Malay, wow, this totally means either she will kill me or I will kill her, but we'll both end up being killed by an Indian anyway. I have surreal mental images of us pummeling each other to death with monster pillows. Death by pillow fight!

Really, how generalizing. All bloggers are liars.

I'M SORRY GUYZ. ACTUALLY.....ACTUALLY....I AM A MALE. All this while I have been lying about my gender, my sexuality, my penchant for strawberry-cake and ... *gasp* I'm not even 19! I'm actually 80 years old posting from my basement, surrounded by cats. Oh wait, no, I don't even really love animals, because it was all a lie.
I am a woman blogger, so of course I cheat you all, zomg, how shameful. Oh wait, no, the woman bit was a lie, so I'm not a woman? Oh dear, now I'm just confused.

I love my country, but sometimes it's embarassing. Honestly, if you're going to have public speeches, dear minister, please don't make such generalizing remarks. Personally, I find this quite funny. Embarassing, but funny. Oh yeah, by the way, I don't take my government seriously. I mean - how could I?! ;) After all, I'm supposedly plotting to overthrow Malaysia and kill Malays, oh lulz.

Anyways, politics aside, there's some good news. I got an extension on my Web3D assignment, whoo-hoo! All hands in the lecture hall shot straight up when the lecturer asked if we were in approval of an extension, all 100+ hands.
So hoorah! I have an extra week to work on it.
But alas. There's no extention on my Web Programming assignment, which is just as many levels of torture and hell as Web3D. Let's face it, Yin isn't very gifted at coding.

I started back at Coffee Bean today, and was reminded once again just how much I hate the job. Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. It's repulsive with every inch of my body. I seriously considered quitting - as in, seriously. If not for the fact that I have to earn money to visit my boyfriend, and that trip to Japan in October - I would have quit today, right now. When things get too harsh at work I just purse up my lips and mutter ferociously to myself under my breath, "Harajuku, Hong Kong. Harajuku, Hong Kong. Harajuku, Hong Kong. Harajuku, Hong Kooooooooong~!"

*sigh*

=(

Corinne said I can make her laugh until she gets an asthma attack. I'm flattered.

Okay, back to assignments. I would explode, but I'm too tired.

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i can't escape
Oh, it's on.

It's so on.

I'm not going to sleep until I finish this assignment, thus allowing me some time for the other assignment, also due on the same day.
Never mind the fact that I worked for another exhausting 12 hours today at the barn, and right now I'd give my life just to collapse and die - or better yet, sleep.
Also never mind the fact that I have to wake up at 6 am tomorrow to start my Coffee Bean job, and seeing that it's already past two in the morning, means that I'll have less than 4 hours sleep tonight, if I do sleep at all.

My whole body is aching and my brain is on shut-down mode, but I don't want to whine, somehow this must be done. I do, however, want to cry - but the only method that seems to be even remotely effective in alleviating stress at the moment is blasting out trashy pop songs on my headphones. I find cheerleading songs from Bring It On the most effective. Gawd, their songs are just so head-boppy. Especially that rock song that the dude recorded for Torrance with his guitar. Somehow hearing someone scream seems to substitute for me screaming instead.

....okay, you know what. I take that back. I'm going to just collapse on my keyboard if I don't hit the sack now.

I think I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. YIN. NEEDS. HUGS. EMERGENCY.

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Sunday, March 25, 2007; 1:08 AM
The Origin of Love
Disregading the fact that flipping this horrible octahendron upside-down is so unbelievably difficult...

I shall make an effort to type a somewhat coherent post today, because I had a nice dream last night and woke up feeling much better. Granted, the dream was about Giant Octahendrons chasing me down the streets, their obnoxious triangle-shaped selves folding and unfolding before my very eyes, changing into different shades of blue and green every five seconds - but still. It wasn't that bad. If anything, it was weird. For visual imagery, just imagine a triangle-shaped Godzilla tearing down buildings in its path to reach me. It was a good dream, in a nightmarish kind of way. The ending was nice, which made up for all the freakish terror of fleeing the Killer Octahendron. Who said assignments don't take lives?!

But on the whole, it hasn't been such a bad day. See, my boyfriend has this supernatural ability to make even the worst of worsts seem not-so-bad after all, with just a few simple words. Also, he has an unexplicable way of making me smile at will and weakening my knees. Everyone should have a boy that can make them weak at the knees. That, plus good music, random huggles from Internet Peoples (Lynn, you totally made my day :D ) and cooking my own yummylicious lunch makes everything almost bearable.

I feel quite terrible, because I finally managed to solve the horrible Octahendron question, all with the help and coaching of Mighty Joe Young. It's a bad thing, because I feel terrible about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly, insanely thankful for him but I feel bad because he shouldn't have to help me so much - I shouldn't be getting so much help - it's so unfair to everyone else that didn't get help. I feel terrible! My conscience is weighing in on me.
On the other hand, I'm just so relieved that this question is over. Of course, the next one will be ten times harder, BUT ONE HURDLE DOWN.

So I spoke to my boyfriend for the first time since the longest time today, and it made me realize just how little we do talk, and that just having a nice, normal conversation was one of the things that people take for granted in life so easily.
Such a simple thing. A conversation. We have conversations with people around us all the time, every single day. But because I only get the rare chance to converse with my boy about every - oh, say - once in a blue moon, it suddenly made me appreciate the opportunity all the more. It made me realize all the simple things that are just that: simple. They are beautiful because they are simple. Simple things like conversations, hugs, MSN emoticon spam sessions and passing a tissue. Happiness is sharing a good song over the internet, making someone a cup of coffee, waking up as late as you like, getting a text message from your mum, a clean seat on the bus and your favourite movie scheduled to air on TV tonight. Little, simple things like that.
And then there's love.

The simple thing about love is that it's not simple. And yet, at times, it so incredibly is. It's as simple as a conversation, and yet it's as intricate and as deep and as open to interpretation as a conversation. The end result can be just anything you like.

But that's just it, isn't it? Sometimes life is just that : one whole big conversation.

Me, I like things simple. I just know very few things - that assignments annoy me, daylight savings ends tonight, plastic melts in microwave ovens and that I love you.

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Saturday, March 24, 2007; 2:28 AM
more spam
WHAT IS THE POINT OF AN OCTAHEDRON.

OTHER THAN MAKING MY LIFE HELL AND DEPRIVING ME OF SLEEP, WHAT IS THE POINT.

WHAT IS THE POINT WHAT IS THE POINT WHAT IS THE POINT.

CAN BUILDING AN OCTAHEDRON WIN ME THE LOTTERY. CAN BUILDING AN OCTAHEDRON MAKE ME TALLER. CAN BUILDING AN OCTAHEDRON GET ME A JOB. CAN BUILDING AN OCTAHEDRON CLEAR UP PIMPLES. CAN BUILDING AN OCTAHEDRON BUY ME A HORSE.

THIS IS USELESS AND POINTLESS Y/Y.

MISERY LOVES COMPANY. JOE IS WORKING ON JAVASCRIPT AND I AM WAILING OVER WEB3D PROGRAMMING STUPID OCTAHEDRONS AND ISOCAHEDRONS AND SOCCER BALLS. AT LEAST HE IS KEEPING ME AWAKE OVER MSN WITH THE ~LULZ~.

I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANOTHER OCTAHEDRON FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE.

YOU ALL HAVE TO BEAR WITH THESE CRAZY AWFUL POSTS UNTIL SEMESTER IS OVER AND STRESS IS GONE.

WHAT IS THIS WHAT IS THIS. I SHOULD BE DRAWING DAMMIT. I'M IN A DESIGN COURSE. WHY AM I PROGRAMMING STUPID OCTAHEDRONS. WHAT WHAT WHAT.

DO NOT WANT. DO NOT WANT DO NOT WANT DO NOT WANT.

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Friday, March 23, 2007; 9:29 PM
ILU JOE &hearts
Back In Black says:
how are you doing?

Back In Black says:
with web3d..........
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
LOL IVE BEEN WORKING ON IT ALL NIGHT YESTERDAY AND TODAY AND I CANT EVEN GET PAST QUESTION 1 D: D: D:

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
HAY U GNNA ATTEND M FUNERAL

Back In Black says:
lol

Back In Black says:
here we go again

Back In Black says:
this is like the tenth time that i say 'sure i'll be there'
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
ASKJALSJKA IM GUNNA DIEEE
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
DIE
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
U KNOW
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
DIE
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
LYK DEAD

Back In Black says:
LOL
Back In Black says:
which part are you stuck on dead person?

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
I DUNNO
IM JUST STUCK
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
D:

Back In Black says:
*need 3 of these with different values

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
yeh thats what i did....rite? Only once for the first
lol u gave me heart attack

Back In Black says:
LOL
Back In Black says:
why dont you get me >[ lol?

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
NVM UR HANDSOME OK Y/Y

Back In Black says:
LOL what thats gotta do with web3d??

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
LOL u so smart

Back In Black says:
lol are you being sarcstic

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
route fromnode="value_changed" tonode="FOLD-1" tofield="set_rotation"

AM I RITE Y/N

Back In Black says:
its wrong

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
route fromnode="FOLDER" fromfield="value_changed" tonode="FOLD-1" tofield="set_rotation"

AM I RITE y/n

Back In Black says:
YES!!!
Back In Black says:
that was fast lol

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
OIZZIT
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
YOU = AWESOME

Back In Black says:
lol you = wanna die 24/7

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
i cant see anything wrong with it D:

Back In Black says:
i dontsee anything wrong

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
me neither omg! D:

Back In Black says:
deos yours say error?

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
no its just a blank screen

Back In Black says:
ohh you inline is wrong

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
YES
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
YESSS
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
IT WORKS OMG
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
YOU ARE AWESOME

Back In Black says:
LOL

*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
YOU ARE LIKE AWESOME
*Yin - OMG I HATE WEB3D HAAATE says:
YOU ARE FRICKIN DAMN AWESOME

Back In Black says:
lol

LOL ILU JOE. ♥ Y U SO ~*HANDSOME*~ AND ~*SMART*~ BB

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GOING CRAZY
SORRY THIS POST IS GOING TO BE INCOMPREHENSIBLE AND WILL BE ALL IN CAPS-LOCK BECAUSE I AM QUITE CERTAIN NODES WILL BE OOZING OUT OF MY BRAIN, NOSE, EARS, EYES, MOUTH AND JUST ABOUT EVERYWHERE THERE IS A HOLE SOON.

PROGRAMMING HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU MORE THAN I HATE PRESERVED VEGETABLES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I HAVE TO TAKE THIS STUPID SUBJECT. WHAT WEB3D WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! WEB3D I HATE YOU AND YOUR NODES AND YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR DEF INLINE CRAP AND YOUR ROUTES AND YOUR INTERPOLATORS AND YOUR FIELDS AND I HOPE SOMEBODY PUSHES YOU OFF A CLIFF AND YOU BREAK ALL YOUR RIBS AND DIE YOU YOU YOU WHO CAUSES ME SO MUCH GRIEF AND MENTAL ANGUISH. PLEASE TO BE STAYING AWAY FROM ME BECAUSE I AM THIS CLOSE TO COMMITTING SUICIDE BY DRINKING MY BOTTLE OF DISHWASHING DETERGENT MMK BB.

YOU KNOW I'D RATHER JUMP OFF MY BALCONY THAN DO THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENT WHAT WHAT WHAT YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH THAT?! OH HAY STFU.

D: D: D: D: D: ~FIERCE~


THAT IS ALL.

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Thursday, March 22, 2007; 1:07 AM
soldiers come and go
I don't quite know what is wrong with me. I keep brushing my hair and walking over to my kitchen; standing in front of my fridge with the door open, repeatedly, almost every five minutes or so. Y'know, it wouldn't actually be so bad if there was actually something useful in my fridge, like ice-cream or strawberry cake, but there isn't, and I'm not looking for anything to eat, I'm just staring. It's not like anything overly dramatic has happened in my life, and I can't say I'm stressed - because I have two major assignments all due in less than two weeks and I am still as yet completely clueless as to how to go about completing them, or to even juggle the time between work and everything else to do them, and I am this close to biting off all my nails and bursting into tears.

And now I found a wonderful website that has all the episodes of the final season of OC (yes, I'm one of those people who watch the OC, it's the kind of show I hate and yet need to know what happens in every next episode) for me to watch, and I just click. And click. And click. And click. Sitting alone in the dark with the light from my screen bouncing off my face, wrapped up in a warm jacket, just clicking aimlessly. Surfing the net, going to almost every website in my Bookmarks, which is a lot, and getting so frustrated at myself because I just cannot seem to find the motivation to work - or do anything remotely productive. It feels like I'm going crazy. And then I think maybe I should just go join a cheerleading squad and quit everything else in life. Just, quit.

The only thing I seem capable of doing at this moment is walking over to my kitchen, opening my fridge door and staring blankly inside it, biting my nails and running my fingers through my hair. Repeatedly, almost every five minutes or so.


And for the record, I'm not even a nail-biter.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007; 12:05 AM
Today, I reminisced
It was a long time ago when I introduced you to a friend of mine, and it proceeded into a sweet relationship of sorts where you'd stay up every night gushing to me about how perfect she is and how happy you were. I was happy too, because the two of you were cuter than cute and often came over to my house to swing on my swing and play cards and I wasn't lonely.
It didn't last, and soon you stayed up every night to moan about how you wish it wasn't so and how you still love her, and I would patiently be a good listener and soon my ear was permanently fixated on your shoulder.

It wasn't long after that you started going out of your way every single day to drive downtown where all the traffic jams were just to keep me company before my tuition classes, despite us being from completely different schools and year levels. We had many McDonald meals together and having a guy around was handy in crazy, hectic, downtown KL where thugs hang out and a lone, petite girl was ideal bait for snatch-thieves. I also took to - on the rare occasion that I was in the area - dropping by your mom's store at the mall to see if you were on the computers there and have idle chatter for five minutes or maybe more.

Then you told me that you love me, and I told you that I only love you as a friend; your face fell and you dissapeared from my life for a good month or so before unexpectedly popping back in to start driving me home from weekend and after-school basketball practices, mostly with the encouragement of my team mates and your friends, and it was sweet, but it wasn't love. Then one day you showed up at the doorstep of my house in the late evening with the sunset, even though you lived all the way across the other side of town - just to give me a keychain you had custom-made for me as a good-luck charm for my impending major exams that I was stressed out about. It was a scene worthy of a Hollywood romantic comedy, what with the unexpected phonecall, jumping up to look out of my window in shock and you standing there with your car.

I couldn't say anything before you jumped back into your car with the quickest of smiles and drove off, and I was touched, but it wasn't love. That was the last time I ever saw or heard from you. Last month I was at the mall in KL when I passed by your mom's shop, and you were on the computers, but you didn't see me and I turned away.

Fast forward years later to today, I found the keychain again, buried underneath all my layers of junk and cobwebs, and I remembered you, and I smiled. I fastened it onto the strap of my schoolbag and walked out my door with it swinging against my hip, carrying a little, custom-made, good-luck charm of faded memories.

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007; 12:41 AM
Best kissing scene ever


From Jeux D'enfants (Love Me If You Dare). French movie. Very cute, and the little scene where they kiss on the car makes me a little happy everytime.

Attended Uni today in a higgledy-piggledy mess, for I thought I had missed the train and would be late, but I ended up 15 minutes earlier than I expected instead. It was an old train, the ratty old kind that makes clangy noises and has no air-conditioning. I sat in a sunny spot by the window and opened the top panel so that the wind would blow out my hair and dance on my eyelashes. A couple came on the train clutching a bunch of roses and two old, grey men patted each other on the backs as they rode their bicycles out of the carriage. I stuffed my ears full of headphones, sang a little, laughed a little, avoided glances a little. At Uni, you fell asleep in the cafe, then we fell asleep in the lectures and finally we desperately resorted to purchasing packets of Starbursts lollies from the Vending Machine so that the sugar rush would keep us awake for at least the second half of the lecture.

It certainly succeeded in keeping us awake, but we ended up daydreaming and doodling pictures of dolphins in each others' notebooks instead. Apparently my jacket is too thin and I apologize too much, but we're all friends anyway.

When I commuted back home, again I chose a spot by the window; this time it was a modern, air-conditioned train and the sun had been exchanged for a blanket of stars, which made me gaze upwards in wonder, singing whilst walking home, tossing my cap in the air and shamefully failing to catch it as it came twirling back down, smack on my forehead, and promptly banging into a lamp post.

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Sunday, March 18, 2007; 10:11 PM
I could swear by expression
"Some people watch porn, my sister watches horses."

So said my brother, when I started joy-gasming to him about the large variety of beautiful horse photos on the Internet. Uncannily true, for I just crashed my computer by viewing too many pictures all at the same time. Apparently my RAM thinks about 30 different windows all being opened at the same time is far too heavy a weight to bear and decided to voice its objections by stubbornly refusing to do anything despite desperate clicking, stabbing the keyboard and - horsey enough - clucking my tongue at it.

Anyways, enough about that. Hoorah, let us celebrate my very first post on my very new blog! What do you guys think about the spiffy layout? I spent hours worth of headaches poring over the xhtml code - for the first time in my life making me feel oh-so-grateful for paying attention to my Web Programming lectures in University. It's courtesy of PsycHo, and everything else is courtesy of me, and do you like my header, because I love it despite it being a very simple Photoshop manipulation of a stock image from Corbis which took me about half-an-hour despite the fact that it should be able to have been whipped up in under five minutes. It's just that I'm so indecisive when it comes to colours and layer modes, and I went through about five different colour sets before deciding on this one.

I'm also quite sorry about the pink, but don't let it hurt your eyes too much, if it does at all. Worry not, for I have a feeling that I might change the colour scheme often enough, when my mood (or hormonal levels) dictate.

Anyhow, if you've come over from my Xanga - welcome, and just leave me a comment on this very first post if you're ever so obliged. Don't worry, you can all be lazy, which means you don't have to create a Blogger account to comment, hooray! Just - you know - congratulate me on this new blog, because it's like an e-housewarming to me and I'm obnoxiously comment-loving like that. You might as well throw me some hugs while you're at it. :)

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