Sunday, January 20, 2008; 10:41 PM
no more tears
I was going to blog about the mundane facts of what I did today, just like 389,657,232 other bloggers out there in the World Wide Webz, but then I got a sharp kick to the face and now I just don't feel like blogging at all.

Nevertheless, just for the sake of updating. It's wonderful the kinds of things you see when you open your eyes to see the world. I was sitting in the tram today and saw a street performer dressed like a jester juggling sticks by the road, when a little boy approached him and asked for a lesson. The little boy took the sticks from the jester and astounded everyone as he started juggling them like a pro. The jester burst into laughter of amazement and started teaching him a few more extra tricks or two.

Then an elderly couple sat opposite me on the train home and the husband affectionately pointed out tourist landmarks to his wife through the window. Their wrinkly little hands overlapped each other and I wanted to cry.

Before when I used to wander around on my own, I always wished I had someone to wander with me. Now I've met McCool I finally have someone and it's the best feeling in the world.

I can't wait to go to work tomorrow. I need something to occupy my mind. I need to be physically busy to distract myself. I'm getting along nicely and I will be okay in the end, I know I will be okay in the end. I will be fucking okay in the end and I will have no regrets because I know that I gave it my all, completely, I put in everything I had and I have no regrets because I know I tried with all my best efforts and my best intentions and - hey, It's Okay.

Carry your head high, lift your feet well and keep your good name. Feel blessed because you had the capacity and spirit to love and endure all that came, and only know that in you there is a lot of devotion and patience and a willingness to hope, to respect, to care and to appreciate. Love is not a feeling or an emotion. It is dedication, commitment, faithfulness, honesty, and every action that we take over the course of time to benefit the one we love - the very act of which, seeking to benefit someone else, makes us a better person. Love inspires us to be better, not for any kind of personal achievement, but because by bettering ourselves we are in a greater position to benefit them.

And I know I love with all my entire being, as much as my little heart could possibly love and give, without spite or malice or any evil intentions at all. For that, I am proud. I am very damn proud of myself and I give myself a pat on my back, and hey, I will be okay.

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breath
Until their dying breath