Saturday, February 23, 2008; 1:31 PM
Another sleepless night last night. Imagine my despair as I saw the sun rise over the horizon. That's almost two nights without sleep now... aaaaaaahhh. I feel like Britney Spears. At least she gets carted away to a hospital. I just get to torment myself, isn't that nice?

It's not that I don't want to sleep.... I just can't. The moment I lay my head down on my pillow, my brain is just flooded with thoughts, words, memories... and it keeps going on and on, I can't drown them out even with music or DS or reading or anything. It's tormenting, to say the least and I'm beginning to feel quite emotionally drained and physically weary. I don't want to purchase sleeping tablets either because I'm so very genuinely too afraid I wouldn't be able to resist the temptation of swallowing the entire bottle.

I'm still holding myself together. For my sake... and for our sake. But I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on by myself...

I sincerely hope I can get some sleep tonight. But right now, from the looks of it... it seems unlikely. I already feel despair sinking in. Please Yin, don't think. Think positive. Please!
I can't do this by myself. I think I need help...