Tuesday, April 29, 2008; 1:31 AM
you say that things change, my dear
What defines people as lovers? What makes it different from two people being merely very close friends?
Is it the hugs? The kisses? The sexual or physical attraction? The chemistry? The hand-holding, name-calling, affectionate-tummy-rubs? The support system?
Is it the way your tummy flutters or the way you smile automatically? Is it the way even the rain feels like sunshine? Is it the urge to hold each other close when overcome with tears? Is it the urge to ravage each other between the sheets? Is it the attraction? Is it thinking, "Wow, he/she is beautiful!" even in the early morning with bed hair and bad breath? Is it the commitment? Is it the dedication and effort towards each other that transcends friendship and boundaries?
It's the attraction, and all that and everything else. It's the feelings for one person that is different to feelings for another. It's what defines the difference between platonic friendly cuddles and simple bonding eye contact.

It's a line that sometimes is so hard to differ. Of course one should know if a relationship is defined as lovers - or merely close friends. How does one know where the end of the line is? I am very clear on my part... but how does one know about the other?

I watched a David Attenborough documentary on lizards today, tucked alone in my dark apartment, and apparently some lizards stay faithfully together as a couple even after death. It made me want to be a lizard. I went to lie in my empty bed and I wished I were a lizard. Every night when my brother comes home, he dotes on my every need and continuously tells me not to be sad, even when I am laughing at a comedy on TV. I think he thinks something bad happened to me. Nothing bad has happened. In fact, nothing has happened.

Every day comes and every day goes. Days go by, then weeks, then months. I am still here, nothing has changed except that I wish I was a lizard.

I am in love and I wish I had a lizard.
fanart not by me

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