Sunday, May 25, 2008; 11:47 PM
Disney and their false representations of love
I just spent a significant amount of time rewatching old Disney moments on YouTube. It's so nostalgic! I grew up to these cartoons : Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Alladin, Jungle book... etc etc, the list goes on. Everyone loves old school Disney!

And you know, even though the movie titles are 'Aladdin', or 'Tarzan' or anything like that, and the hero is always the main character, in fact the story always somehow revolves around the female protagonist. For example, Alladin giving up his entire lifestyle for Princess Jasmine (he even made a pact with a genie... I mean, I would marry him just for that!) ... the Beast returning to his princely self because of Belle... Prince Charming battling a dragon for Sleeping Beauty whom he only met once... and then Cinderella's prince searching the entire kingdom with a frickin' shoe... Mowgli leaving his entire life in the jungle for that chick in the village... Prince Eric fighting a frickin' sea octopus witch for Ariel who can't even speak!

I guess most little girls want their own prince somehow, one who would do anything for them like the Disney princes. Misrepresentation! There's no such thing in real life! And because I am a hopeless romantic who lives off golden flowerfields and pink ribbons and dashing lads swooping ladies off on magic carpets, I am bitter and in deep denial.
For the longest time I believed Disney - that most men would do anything in their power to better their lady, and vice versa. Frickin' Disney. I'm 21 now and where the heck is my Beast. Instead, I'm faced with the reality of the world - men - typical men who watch the Simpsons and believe that Homer is the epitome of the Perfect Man, men who idolize Johnny from South Park, men who run far away at the mere mention of flowers, or long walks on the beach, or a picnic in the park. Men who's idea of love is sitting in a pub watching football, or other normal, mundane things. Men who think other men who pull chairs out for ladies are wussies.

Goodness, what happened to good old fashioned chivalry? What happened to romance? What happened to "I can show you the world, take you wonder by wonder"? What happened to intimacy? What happened to the magic? You know, everything is so mundane. As each day passes I get duller and duller. I feel myself melting into a big puddle of Dull. If there was such thing as Dull stew, I would have invented it.

So I guess I have Disney to thank for getting my hopes up since childhood. Also, I am still a firm hopeless romantic who gets all teary when a sweet scene in a movie plays, who wants to stroll through parks and hand out flowers, who wants someone to sing to me, who loves cheese and doesn't understand how anyone can think cheese is bad. I still burst into song on my balcony, grasping for adventure. I guess I am pretty old fashioned.
So in this world full of "real men", I guess I will have to thank Disney very very bitterly when I am old, wrinkly and 81, living alone in my cottage in provincial France with 100 ponies.

So now if you'll excuse me, I'll go back to arguing with MJY about who is the hottest Disney character ever.

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