Thursday, January 31, 2008; 9:37 PM
sometimes i run, sometimes i hide
So I did end up going horse riding because the skies cleared up the moment I reached the barn, hoorah! And the farrier was there, so I was treated to the rare luxury of being able to observe him doing his job and having a little chat.

Doing more dressage work and getting the horse into a frame with Linda today, I rode Gumboots and she was awesome. Really really awesome. I loved her. Although I am feeling a little upset in my tummy because my position is still not quite right yet and the barn has decided to stick me on Gumboots for now because Christine took me aside for a little talk today and she is seriously worried that I will break my neck soon. Ah, hello confidence, meet my shoes. =(
Time though, I'm sure with time and more dedication I'll be able to fix this. I am moving up regardless, so it's okay - just don't let this get me down!

OhNoTheyDidnt is my guilty pleasure in life, seriously. Everytime some kind of massive news happens I stay up on it all night, reading the comments and following the updates.

Britney Spears is in hospital again, and this just makes me feel sad. =(

'Back at her house, Britney's psychiatrist told her she was going to the hospital. Her response was, "Is something wrong?" She was not resistant. She made hot chocolate and waited before paramedics arrived and placed her on a gurney.'

My heart broke a little when I read that. Poor girl is surrounded by way too many selfish, poisonous people including her own parents and the man she once loved enough to marry. I don't care what anyone says, no one should wish such a fate onto any human being. I can't believe some people actually want her to die. Celebrity or not, it's just so sad. Brit brit, pull through, I'm still rooting for you! *plays Stronger on repeat*

Its time for me to move along
Its time for me to get it on
I’m tired of singing sad songs
It's time for me
Britney, let’s go!

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Cafe por favor!
It is.....raining.

Not exactly pouring, to be exact, but rainy enough to make me just want to curl up under my covers instead of braving the storm to travel out to catch the train and bus to go horse riding. Augh. Why, why does it always rain when I want to go for a good canter? Riding in rain is probably the least pleasant of experiences.

I'd really much rather be curled up in my cosy little Coffee Bean, making coffee on a dreary day like this. Talking about Coffee Bean, yesterday was my last day and my manager struggled to hold back tears as she presented me with a HUUUGE card signed by all my co-workers and a book about coffee as a farewell present. My regular customers even remembered it was my last day and they all swung by just to say Goodbye and Good Luck. So Sad!! I love my job. And if I don't find a new job in a month or two, I'm so going back. I just feel like it would be okay to forgo my Bachelors Degree and just spend the rest of my career as a full-time barista.

Or maybe not. But we'll see.

Future in the industry looks bleak. Who wants to hire a Junior Artist, who's artwork is less than average and is completely shit in 3D? Noone's hiring and I'm really not confident enough to go out there with my stuff just yet. But I have to, otherwise I will be broke and starving and living off McCool's leftover steaks. AHHH LIFE. Financial crisis, hello! I still have to fund my horse riding, plus there's driving lessons I need to start taking soon and living expenses and everything else in between.

Ugh, try not to think about it too much. Things will work out and fall into place! Like McCool says, throw the negative down south. I'm sure things will brighten up! =)

And hopefully this rain will stop soon too! My Midnight is waiting for me.

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008; 1:22 AM
Why do people hurt each other?

I can never really understand the reason between causing another person emotional or physical pain - what is in it for both parties? Nothing but more pain, pain pain pain all round, and everybody hurts and it's sad.

I've come to a slow realization nowadays as I slowly rebuild my world and learn to appreciate more the little simple pleasures and gestures, that nobody really ever means to hurt. Nobody wants to hurt, and everybody just wants to be happy. Happiness is simple, really. Just love each other, be nice to each other, respect each other and make each other happy. Happiness is so simple, and yet we humans tend to complicate things up so much and end up hurting.

Like my brother screaming obscenities at me today, and like me hiding in a corner of McCool's bathroom today due to self-insecurities, like a friend crying her eyes out on the telephone - all the little ways in which we hurt. And yet it is so simple - a hug from a loved one, a phone call, a gentle touch of the fingers, a sincere smile - all the ways in which happiness is transmitted, and yet so often neglected.

It is the little things that we need to learn to love. I love your hair. I love your smile. I love your veined, strong arms that somehow always wrap themselves around me at just the right moments. I love my laugh. I love my eyes. I love the way I dance with my fingers pointing upwards. I love her cooking. I love her glossy little nails. I love his pot-belly. I love his fat, upturned nose.

Humans need to learn to love. Just then you lovingly told me to keep us simple - and I am still recovering and reeling from the previous excruciating heartache, and now I realize that sometimes it's best not to think too much, or overanalyse too deeply or wonder too much - sometimes it's best to just live in the moment, love in the moment and appreciate everything you have. There are no certainties for the future, so why fret about it? All that matters is this moment, this moment you have right here, right now. This moment where all my thoughts are pouring out into my fingertips like liquid ink, fluid, honest - easily smudged but never erased.
As for me, I am slowly but surely healing, everyday I can remove one more bandaid and all that's left is tiny little scars. I am eagerly awaiting the day when I can remove all the bandaids and I will be able to have a heart that is full and unbroken once again. Everyday I'm getting closer, there is hope.

At this moment, I am trying not to focus on the past or the future. I am trying to focus on the present. And in this present, all I know is that despite the doubts and the insecurities and the issues (I think I have depression issues....god I hope not), I do love life. And one of the reasons I love life is because of you. And because of you, today instead of cowardly picking up my bag and running away from your house when I had a minor panic attack, instead I hugged you and stayed - and god damn, I'm glad I stayed.

In the past, I fell in love with you. In the present, I am still in love with you. And in the future, I know for sure that I did love you.

If only people would stop hurting each other, and start loving a little more, we could all have the kind of happiness only cats seem to have.

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Monday, January 28, 2008; 10:51 PM
we're going to hell for this
MJY : "Right now I'm a single man who wants some time to himself. My 'me' times are like when I take a dump or something, y'know?"

Yin : "Of course, you idiot. Everyone needs some 'me' time. I mean, you don't see me and McCool taking a dump together, do you?"

MJY : "I dunno, how would that work? Would it be like splitting the toilet in half? It'd be like, here, you sit on that side and I sit on this half..."

Yin : "Nah, I think it's a lot easier if he just sat on the bowl with his legs spread and I sit on his lap and just aim through the hole between his legs..."

MJY : "Oh my god, what if your shit hits his ding dong though?! What do they call that?? Dipshit? Oh, Shit on a stick!!"


Yin : "Sammy's just gotten her second shot for cervical cancer and apparently it hurts like a bitch, so I think I'm not going to get mine done."

MJY : "Are you crazy? Just get it done! Prevention is better than cure. It's cancer, man!"

Yin : "Yeah, but if it's painful for Sammy, I'll probably faint. The needle is huge!"

MJY : "You're such a wuss! Why are you scared of a needle? Oh man, you know, I'd so totally take the shot with you! Only, you know, I don't have a..."

Yin : "...cervix."

MJY : "Yeah, one of those."


MJY : "That was really quick!!!"

Yin : "I'm a guy, I don't spend hours in a toilet."

MJY : "Right, you know it's kinda hard for a guy to pee."

Yin : "I think you're bordering on Too Much Information..."

MJY : "No, seriously, you gotta know this stuff. It's hard to aim right. Sometimes mine shoots out in two different streams, two different directions."



MJY : "I really wanna meet someone special and settle down, get married, y'know? But that doesn't look likely nowadays. Maybe I won't meet anyone. Maybe I'll end up gay."

Yin : "Well, tell me if you turn gay and I'll turn gay with you."

MJY : "How will that work? We can't be together if we're gay, you'll be lesbian and I'll be gay."

Yin : "Yeah, but we can still be friends...or something."

MJY : "Oh yeah, and we can have like massive homo orgies."

*arkward silence*

MJY : "That sounded so wrong!!!"

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Sunday, January 27, 2008; 11:42 PM
get me into the shade
It's ridiculously impossible, but how wonderful it is to think that the person who replied to me on the Anything post at Postsecret could maybe possibly be you? Of course it isn't, sheesh, what am I thinking - but it's nice to hope. Whoever you are, anonymous stranger, thank you for making me smile. =]

Somedays we move forwards and other days we take a step back, but I do think despite it all we are well on the road to recovery and that thought is somewhat uplifting. It doesn't hurt so much anymore and it's beginning to feel like happiness again.
I think I really do like your new room because now I get to lie down and snuggle your legs while you play your games and if I fall asleep you wake me up the same way Sleeping Beauty is awoken - so I really think I should fall asleep more often. =]

Anyways, this is my last week of work (omg!) and it is somewhat disheartening. I think if the store renovations are pushed back again, I will request for me to stay on the extra time, until the store closes. I really do want to keep myself busy throughout Chinese New Year, for one thing, because I dread the thought of spending it alone and it would be so much better if I could be working all my spare time off so I don't have the time to think about it or feel forlorn. It's my first New Year away from home in Malaysia, and more significantly, my first New Year without my dog, and it will be so strange to not be in the midst of the noise and chaos that's usually synonymous with the Chinese New Years I'm accustomed to in Malaysia.

I can feel it achingly tugging at my heartstrings already, so hopefully Coffee Bean will still be open then. I'd work all day and night on New Year's Eve if I could, just so I can have an excuse for being alone without a family. Keep myself busy and exhaust myself out so all I need to do by the time I get home is collapse on my bed. That sounds good. And definitely stay away from the Instant Pasta!

Although if the Bean does close down by next week, dear god, I shall only pray that a Space Time Continuum happens so I won't even realize it's the New Year and it will pass me by without me even noticing.

To be honest, I feel so far removed from everything... But it's okay. I'll be responsible for myself. Oh Yin, you'll be okay. Girl, you'll be okay.

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Saturday, January 26, 2008; 11:58 PM
just love the way that you move
If you made it to heaven, what would you like God to say to you upon arrival?

"You smell like flowers."

I read that on Ohnotheydidn't and man, I would like to hear that if I make it to the Big Gates, nothing quite like being compared to pretty flowers. =)

Also, today I scored a free toaster! Tightarse score +plus one for me! McCool's sister is having a grand old Garage Sale tomorrow and I was getting in the way helping when I spotted a mucky old toaster crying in a corner. Intrigued, of course I had to go over and pat it.
"Why are you crying, little toaster?"
"I'm old and abandoned and .... nobody wants me! I've been left in this box for ages and now they're trying to get rid of me!"

Of course I had to clean it up and take it home! Well, McCool's mum cleaned it up for me, but hey, I took it home! My brother complained that we don't have enough space for a toaster in our dingy little apartment but I ignored him and demanded that this toaster shall live! I hereby christen him Toasty.

We spent the day building furniture fresh purchased from Ikea today and I was a great help by getting in the way of everybody and tripping over nails and hammers right, left and center. Getting in the way of frustrated people is much fun! Also, I took into the annoying habit of playing impromptu games of Hide & Seek with McCool everytime he left the room to fetch a new piece of wood, until I decided hiding behind the toilet bowl was SO NOT glamorous and ashamedly told myself off as I emerged from my hiding, red-faced and promptly tripping over another set of nails.

And now, I feel like ridiculously dancing with my smexxy boy. =] Toodles~!

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I am a voice waiting to be heard
After just coming home from a superb day/night out, I spent the past half hour or so browsing Facebook, looking up profiles of old long lost friends and such.

It marvels me, the way our lives all took on different paths and wound through different woods. It's funny how we change and find ourselves as we grow up. I find myself looking back at profiles of guys I used to majorly crush on in high school and thinking, "Why the heck did I ever find him attractive?!"
I look at profiles of old classmates who are all preened and living their young, early 20's lives clubbing and drinking and having a blast, and to be honest I feel so far removed from that situation now. Maybe I'm just an old fart, but I like how my life is. Calm, mellow, homely, no fuss, stable. Sure, there's the drama that pops up every now and then and I feel like committing homicide and hiding the corpse underneath my bed, but there's none of that clustered mayhem that consists of partying out till late and coming home wasted, or crazy friendship dramas where the best friend sleeps with the ex-boyfriend or shit like that you see on MTV.

I mean, I've never really experienced all that, and to be honest, I don't want to either. Thank god. I guess you could class me as boring ol' Plain Jane, but I like it, thanks.
I have a great job with a steady income (oh noes, that will dissapear soon!), steady friends who calm my hot-head when I need it, a steady boyfriend (despite the drama drama drama), and my steady horses (except when I fall off!) and everything is steady and good - just the way I like it. There's nothing quite like a soothing evening stroll in the sunset, instead of dry-humping strangers in a club.

I do enjoy the odd party or gathering every now and then but I don't need the mayhem of crazy nightlife, I guess. Time is much better spent snuggling or horse-riding, both enjoyable activities of mine.

But anyways, it was McCool's birthday today so we went out for dinner and it was nice, and I also tried my hand at baking a cake from scratch - God knows what it tastes like and also it is the ugliest cake in the entire world, but I suppose the flavour shall be discovered soon enough!

Now I am going to snoooooooze off into lalaland and mentally prepare myself for the next big drama that will come with a new day. =)

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Friday, January 25, 2008; 1:35 AM
There is always someone out there who cares for you.

Always someone, even if it is the most obscure, most unlikely of persons, there will always be at least one person whose world would just stop for you.

So even if you are lost to the world, or lost even to yourself, just remember to hang on, because there is always someone that cares.

We are all connected, in more ways than we'll ever be aware of.


Tuesday, January 22, 2008; 12:36 AM
you give me something
I kinda really love my job.

AUGH. Why is it that now I've submitted my resignation I start to realize what an awesome job I have? Hahahaha! I mean, seriously. To be dead honest, I am kinda over my job. I wake up to open the store thinking that this is the shittest thing on earth and I don't wanna do it anymore. But then once my co-workers come in to work, it becomes the Most Awesome Workplace In The Universe.

Also, who else has their co-worker/manager phone you at random times during the day just to see if you're okay and to say Hi? I LOVE YOU GRACIE MARRY ME. I no longer shudder at my workplace number blinking on my phone because more often than not it's one of my colleagues ringing me up for a friendly chat. Today Fire Twirler worked with me again and it was so great - because he's my shrink, my Oprah and sniff sniff having a patient, listening ear is so good.
And then Gracie couldn't make her shift so she rang me when I got home and screamed into my ear all the latest gossip and IAMSOHAPPYOMG. ;___; I have people who look out for me, it's such a good feeling. And, teehee, who else has their co-workers as Facebook friends? xD

Plus, I love my customers. They are the best customers you could every wish for. Every barista wants customers like mine because they are just so damn awesome.


And Sammy forced me off my sorry ass to watch some dodgy latest TVB drama with her online, so we were screaming at each other, trying to coordinate our buffering speeds and it was so funny and it reminded me of the good ol' days when we used to have crazy fun like that. Ah, you never know who's there for you until you need it. =) I am so thankful for her distraction because otherwise god knows what things would have run through my mind as I spent another afternoon alone at home. Bloody hell, but I got so bored of the TVB drama halfway through that I begged her to let me stop hahahaha. They just don't make them the same as they used to anymore!

MJY also rang me up halfway through my solitary confinement and chatted to me for a good 45 minutes as he walked down the streets of Melbourne to keep me company on the phone UFUHUHUHUHUHU. T_____T I have such good friends.

So what with my phone ringing off the hook with people calling to keep me company, me keeping myself busy and distracted with working on the Secret Project, work being awesome (I stayed back a whole extra hour today because I just didn't wanna leave!), the barn open for riding again - things are finally starting to fall into place and everything doesn't look so bleak and depressing anymore. It's funny how one little thing can trigger a whole myriad of events that barely even connect to each other. It all started with one email, which lead to a smile, which by some karmic way of the Universe triggered phonecalls and songs and MSN conversations. Which ultimately led to me feeling a hundred times better about myself and my self-worth, which is the most important thing of all. =)

Everyone was right, things do get better. And I'm glad you took the time to talk to me for a little bit today even though you're busy at your sister's place. It made me happy~!

The skies are clearing up. =)

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Sunday, January 20, 2008; 10:41 PM
no more tears
I was going to blog about the mundane facts of what I did today, just like 389,657,232 other bloggers out there in the World Wide Webz, but then I got a sharp kick to the face and now I just don't feel like blogging at all.

Nevertheless, just for the sake of updating. It's wonderful the kinds of things you see when you open your eyes to see the world. I was sitting in the tram today and saw a street performer dressed like a jester juggling sticks by the road, when a little boy approached him and asked for a lesson. The little boy took the sticks from the jester and astounded everyone as he started juggling them like a pro. The jester burst into laughter of amazement and started teaching him a few more extra tricks or two.

Then an elderly couple sat opposite me on the train home and the husband affectionately pointed out tourist landmarks to his wife through the window. Their wrinkly little hands overlapped each other and I wanted to cry.

Before when I used to wander around on my own, I always wished I had someone to wander with me. Now I've met McCool I finally have someone and it's the best feeling in the world.

I can't wait to go to work tomorrow. I need something to occupy my mind. I need to be physically busy to distract myself. I'm getting along nicely and I will be okay in the end, I know I will be okay in the end. I will be fucking okay in the end and I will have no regrets because I know that I gave it my all, completely, I put in everything I had and I have no regrets because I know I tried with all my best efforts and my best intentions and - hey, It's Okay.

Carry your head high, lift your feet well and keep your good name. Feel blessed because you had the capacity and spirit to love and endure all that came, and only know that in you there is a lot of devotion and patience and a willingness to hope, to respect, to care and to appreciate. Love is not a feeling or an emotion. It is dedication, commitment, faithfulness, honesty, and every action that we take over the course of time to benefit the one we love - the very act of which, seeking to benefit someone else, makes us a better person. Love inspires us to be better, not for any kind of personal achievement, but because by bettering ourselves we are in a greater position to benefit them.

And I know I love with all my entire being, as much as my little heart could possibly love and give, without spite or malice or any evil intentions at all. For that, I am proud. I am very damn proud of myself and I give myself a pat on my back, and hey, I will be okay.

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breath
Until their dying breath

Saturday, January 19, 2008; 7:43 PM
Shaken, not stirred
Back at work and back on a horse after quite a hiatus and what a spectacular ride it was really.

Linda moved me up a level (OMG!!) and now she's teaching me to collect and get the horse into a frame and on the bit. I was riding Midnight and having him come soft and collected in my hands is the most wonderful feeling in the world! It was all going Simply Wonderful until Linda told us to swap horses just so we could get the feel of collecting another horse as well.

So I swapped Midnight for Big M and he was simply wonderful the moment I picked up the reins, soft and round and right there on the bit.

We had done a good half hour of flatwork when Linda decided it was time to pop over some jumps. She asked if I wanted to swap back to Midnight which I wanted, but the other girl riding him wasn't too keen, so I stayed on Big M.

Frickin hell, I hate jumping Big M, he's the biggest idiot ever that spooks at every single jump even though he's walked, trotted and cantered past it a million times before. He likes to pull his head all the way down and dart around when the jump approaches, so it's a shit fest and I just really hate jumping him. But hey, he seemed to be really nice and listening today, so I thought, well, okay. He spooked at first a few times, but he seemed to be okay besides a few refusals.

And then Linda added a vertical bar to the crossrails we had been jumping and Big M goes absolutely mental, "OMG ITS A NEW BAR WHAT IS THAT IT WILL EAT ME NO OH GOD NO NO!!!!"
Frickin' hell, but I line him up to jump them anyway and he's going berserk, not wanting to jump that SCARY SCARY HORSE-EATING POLE MONSTER but hell no, he's not winning this so I insist he go over the jump and he does this MASSIVE spook while he's over the jump in mid-air, bolts to the left, leaps over the massive flood of poles lying in the middle of the arena and throws me clean into a flurry of dirt and gravel in my mouth.

At this point I'm ready to cook Big M and have him for dinner, but I get back on anyway and try again. He went over it wonderfully, but then he spooks and bolts the moment his front hooves touch the ground and takes off at a violent gallop down the arena, trying his best to get away from the SCARY HORSE EATING POLE. I am ripped completely out of the saddle and am clinging on to his neck for dear life - I swear I did a couple of 360 degree circles whilst clinging desperately around his neck, and then we see the massive arena fence looming up before us and I'm thinking "FUCK he's going to crash right through that in his panic!" and just as that thought came to mind, he bolts massively and I am flung right over his head and neck, landing with a sickening crack onto my head and neck and look up just to see a flurry of hooves threathening to trample me. Linda lets out a scream and Big M leaps backwards just in time.

Everyone stops what they're doing to watch in horror, but I'm okay - I'm not dead! Hahaha. Stupid Big M. I sit up slowly and shake my fist at him dejectedly, he lowers his head to sniff at me as if to make sure I'm still in one piece, and then lets out a guilty little "Hrruuummpph." Yes, you should indeed feel guilty, horse!

Needless to say, I hopped back on and this time made him go over the jump, no fuss. AGH.

Now I am sore and shaky and my hand won't stop shaking agh it's so annoying and tomorrow everything will hurt so much but oh, it's so worth it. At least I didn't break anything, thank god I didn't get a concussion either!

BIG M, you and I, we have ISSUES. ISSUES!!!!

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Friday, January 18, 2008; 11:23 PM
I've been happy lately
Tonight is one of those nights where I feel like I have a lot to write about, but I don't know what to write about.

With the amount of times I've typed, deleted, typed again and pressed Ctrl+Z I think I could've been able to travel to Somalia and back.

It's also one of those nights whereby I feel like I should get really drunk and black out on someone's sofa in some dingy room somewhere.

I'm glad the Fire Twirler will be working with me on Monday because I think I need someone right now who will listen, non-judgmentally, non-selfishly, and just let me say everything I want to say, even if I want to sit down and talk for hours. Struggling with oneself's inner voices can be a tiring battle. Life can be one big, long wait. You never really know what you're waiting for, and you never really know when the wait is over but what's important is that you hold on to yourself throughout it all - the good and the bad, you've got to love yourself and you've got to respect yourself and no matter what you think, always remember the most important thing is what you feel.

Take a breath and close my eyes. Tomorrow is another day and it will be just as euphorically happy as all these past few days, just don't lose yourself, don't lose yourself honey.

Oh crap, I think I am falling for you all over again, and is it possible to fall in love twice with the same person?

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Thursday, January 17, 2008; 11:33 PM
Stupid things customers ask
"Can I have a double whiskey on ice?"
(okay, this man was kidding but for a minute there I seriously thought he had struck the Stupid Lottery, seeing that I work in a frickin' COFFEE shop!)

"What's in a Vanilla latte?"

"Do you sell coffee here?"
No, we sell mutilated genetically-modified sea monkeys under the guise of Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.

And the mother of them all...

"What's the difference between chocolate and vanilla?"

Face, meet palm.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008; 11:51 PM
...I can't remember what I was going to blog about.

Ah, whatever. Anyways, I started a PayPal Dispute claim against a seller who shipped me a wrong item instead of a pretty dress I ordered, much to my indignance because I have been arduously waiting beside my mailbox every day for said dress to arrive. Helas, this seller refuses to reply to my daily harassment of emails, and it seems the same thing has happened to other buyers too, so it's time to take action! I shall not sleep until I get that dress (maybe I will sleep, but not as peacefully har har!) and my money will be worth its while! *goes into ruthless customer mode*

Today I helped McCool clean up and move into his new (bigger! brighter! shinier! private bathroom!) room and did I mention it has a private bathroom? Oh and by the way, it has a private bathroom. I don't know why I'm so thrilled about the prospect of a private bathroom - but he has a private bathroom now! Maybe because I am usually too lazy to drag myself five feet out of the room across the hallway to the bathroom, but now the bathroom is inside the room itself and I don't have to leave the room to go to the bathroom! Hoorah!
I also think this is proof that my laziness has just risen to an all-new high level.

Also, shaking booty together while dusting shelves is quite a fun experience everyone should try, especially when your neighbours are walking their dog past your open window, watching two asses shake in tune to a tropical beat. I think we are too goofy for our own good, but hey - didn't anyone watch Charlie's Angels?? A little booty shaking is good for one's health, especially when done with a tall, handsome companion.

I am back to work at Blinkbonnie this weekend and I can't wait to see all my babies again! Ah my horses how I have missed thee, Midnight my sweet Midnight do you remember me!? I'm sure you do but nvm, I can't wait to go back to work! I also realized that work means I will have to miss Gracie's tupperware party, but sadly, Horses > Tupperware. Seriously.

Our Coffee Bean Fire Twirler also invited me to go salsa dancing with him and his partner! Salsa dancing, well I never! What next, hula-hooping?? I could start busking on the streets of Melbourne and be ~*famous*~. How about salsa dancing and hula-hooping on horseback??


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Tuesday, January 15, 2008; 10:20 PM
There's something about Mothers...
I swear McCool's mum has this strange obsession with feeding me.

Every ten minutes or so she will try to shove something down my throat, be it with honeyed words or sheer brute force which includes splicing my mouth open with porcelain chopsticks - and I can already predict what words will come out her mouth ever time she speaks to me - it's usually either, "Would you like to eat something?" or "Are you hungry?"or "Here, have some (___insert food here___) !" or Would you like to eat something?" Oh yeah, also "Would you like to eat something?"

I've gotten into the habit where, if I know Mum McCool will be around, I will always quickly grab something to eat or drink beforehand because I know some sort of morsel will be forcibly hauled into my digestion system if I don't insist that "Yes, I've really really already eaten and I'm quite full." and god forbid if I don't have a water bottle in my hand, about a hundred different beverages would quite literally fall into my lap.

Not that it's a bad thing - oh lordy no - it's a very very very good thing, because really, I'd much rather have McCool's mother force food down my tummy rather than shove insults up my arse. I mean, c'mon - girls and their boyfriend's mums don't usually get along like macaroni and cheese but I guess I struck the Lucky Girlfriend Lottery when McCool's mum turned out to be the sweetest lady ever with the need to ensure there is plenty of food inside me. Yes, I think it's quite safe to say she likes me. I like her too, despite the language barrier!! Who wouldn't like someone who constantly presents you with Yummies?? Also, she bears McCool's genes, which automatically grants her Top Place on the Likeable Persons Awards.

Good good, because food is always a good thing and the look of pleased satisfaction on McCool's face everytime I accept some morsel from Mother always makes me glow warmly a little inside, between bites and exclamations of "Yes yes, it's delicious, it's enough to eat!! No really, it's enough!" Even McCool admits that Mother McCool loooooves feeding me, I think I should count my blessings.

Yeah, I definitely struck the Lucky Girlfriend Lottery. I mean, c'mon. Handsome, tall, rich, and a complete sweetheart who treats me like a Princess, plus I also will never starve for the rest of my life as long as Mother McCool exists..... I'd say it's a pretty sweet deal! Did I also mention he now has a private bathroom? Heck yeah I'm in this for the long run!! =)

Also :

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This is how bored I am. I am so bored I actually WISH I HAD ASSIGNMENTS TO DO RIGHT NOW OMG. OR EXAMS TO STUDY FOR.

Sammy says my butt needs to get reacquainted with my chair, BUT I BEG TO DIFFER.

I actually wish I was working at Coffee Bean every day so I don't have to SIT AT HOME ALONE AND BORED LIKE THIS AAAAAHHHH GOING MENTAL NOW KTHX KAHSJLAHSHJSA

I've spent my entire morning turning my computer into a self-made karaoke box BUT RLY HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS KEEP BLEEDIN KEEP KEEP BLEEDIN LOVE I KEEP BLEEDIN I KEEP KEEP BLEEDIN LOVE till my computer explodes???!!!

Doesn't help that it is that time of the month and I am constantly bleeding too, but TOO MUCH INFORMATION THANKS.



Malaysian National Excuses For Everything
--ganked from Facebook :


Maggi Mee

Nasi Lemak

Nasi Ayam

Roti Canai & Teh Tarik

Traffic Jam

None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying
So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest
pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can
even blink an eye.


Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after
a few pints they start swearing at everything.. .

Food Poisoning

Menstrual Pain

Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep,
mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not
digested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond too
cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the
pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven ' t remove
make-up, haven ' t shower, no water supply, going to
watch " Santa Barbara ", depress, no mood, etc...

None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.

Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and you
are all "dried up".

Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails we have
another secret weapon - Tiger Balm.

Moh Fah Kor.

Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

Happy Hours.

The sight of a police road block.

NATIONAL Rice Cooker

Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.

Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!

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Monday, January 14, 2008; 9:17 PM
Today a fire twirler changed my life
I think I grew just a little bit stronger today.

People have an innate effect on other people without even realizing it. We had a new worker come in to the Bean today, he is a juggler and fire twirler (I know rite!) and he wasn't supposed to work with me today, but by some strange twist of fate he showed up doing the wrong shift with me instead, which I took as God's little message as saying, "HAY stop moping and listen to this guy."

Before I knew what happened, this mysterious new worker with the amazing ability to connect and open people up had me pouring out all my feelings and misery and problems onto a quiet, listening ear, despite only having met him less than ten minutes. In turn, he told me about his life and his philosophies and listening to his story about him and his partner somehow just brought me to my senses in one shock. I thought people like this don't exist anymore. I saw how happy he is as he said completely without any hesitation or embarassment about how rocky their relationship was and what happened and how they overcome it (he even started taking salsa dancing classes with her to encourage her to feel better about herself!!) and now they are ploughing through life happy and united, with a house ready to move in by March, new jobs, new opportunities and how they were both so willing and so committed to be together as a unit despite all shortcomings.

It was inspiring because I seriously didn't believe people like this exist anymore. We listened to each other for the entire 5 hours we worked together and he gave me the best advice I have heard in a long time, something so simple and yet so easily forgotten. I was moved close to tears because I really needed an ear to listen and it was such a simple, human thing, like a pat on the back which made me choke back tears. Humans are amazing and we have amazing hearts with amazing capacities if we'd only allow ourselves the chance to show it.

Also, now I can juggle a 'Two-ball shower'.

I looked straight at you with calm, quiet eyes today and despite the numbness, there was still a little bit of emotion left in me because it still hurt even though I thought that the hurt had already reached a whole maximum (I guess not) but what hurt even more was watching you hurt too and we were both sitting cross-legged there like idiots, hurting and crying and hurting and crying even more, and I love us because we're idiots like that.

We're taking a risk together and I'm glad we took it because I know for sure things will work out this time as long as we don't give up on each other. It will work.

I feel different now, a silent, reserved kind of strength, and I'm not miserable or upset or depressed - I feel content and at peace and strong and there's this little feeling deep inside of me that just knows I will be okay no matter what happens. I will be okay.

Hey, we're one of a kind. We're vintage, remember? =)

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Sunday, January 13, 2008; 11:57 PM
i think im drunk

I'm so miserable I might as well die.

BUT LETS NOT DIE because I still want to ride horses and eat endless amounts of fish & chips until I die.

SO SRZLY. For once I am going to type a light-headed, incoherent post because life sucks and I think I'm drunk on water/beef noodles/custard because I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THIS MORNING AND I WATCHED AS IT DISINTERGRATED INTO A CLOUD OF RED HAHAHA.

ANYWAYS here gaiz, have a FUNNY JAPANESE TV SHOW to laugh at and it is seriously retardedly hilarious, perhaps funnier than Human Tetris or Genius Chimpanzee Makes Noodles, also the first guy on the red team is kinda hot, AMIRITE? He looks like a Japanese reincarnation of Ahn Jung Hwan. THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR THE WTFery of Japanese and their TV Game Shows. And I thought I'd seen them all.

I feel like really bad karaoke. I never karaoke, I've never karaoked in my life. But right now I feel like TERRIBLE TERRIBLE karaoke. I already know what song to sing KEEP BLEEDING KEEP KEEP BLEEDING LOVE which is coincidentally me and Gracie's song and we spontaneously burst into a dance number everytime the song comes on at Coffee Bean. Oh and BTW I won't be working at Coffee Bean anymore soon, so yeah THAT SUX TOO but back to the topic OMG I WANNA KARAOKE NOW and sing my lungs out in a melody of noise pollution that will crack the glasses of office buildings everywhere.

Also, I fucking hate Microsoft. There, I've said it. HAHAHAHAHA BILL GATES I DONT LIKE YOU BOO-HOO-WHOOP-DEE-DOO!!!!

Also I dreamt of my dog last night and that makes it all even more miserable. ALSO today I was literally dying of pain so I tried to do the VICKS SUPER MEGA ULTIMATE HEAT HAND RUBBING HOTTT VAPOR RUB thing he magically does, but I FAILED horrendously. So now I have to make do with a frickin hot water bottle on my body in summer.

Saturday, January 12, 2008; 9:42 PM
If it's you, please read this. It's the closest I can get.
There is a reason behind all this, I'm sure.

See, I'm not like you. I can't be alone by myself at home all day and not go crazy. You're different, you always have someone there with you, someone who turns the lights on even when you get home late at night. Do you know how it feels to have to see a dark window and turn on the lights by yourself every day, every single day? I go crazy living by myself, and even in the years and years before I met you I hated it, which was why I used to try and see my friends MJY and Sammy so very very much and stayed out having fun all night and only went home in the wee hours of the morning so I could just fall into my bed fast asleep without having a chance to feel lonely, without even having to turn on the lights. Thank goodness Uni was hectic too and I could always find some sort of excuse to occupy myself so I wouldn't get a chance to dwell on it too much. When I am left alone I cry into my bowl of instant pasta and experiment with sharp objects. I would talk to telemarketers for hours. I would make "online friends" (wonderful people, by the way) so that there was always someone to talk to, even if just on forums. Which is what I have been doing for the past many years that you think I was "fine".

See, you have a family. I don't know - I barely know what that is. I need to look up the definition in a dictionary when I want to know. I don't understand what it means to be part of a family and I always watch yours and MJY's and my other friends and wonder what it must be like growing up like that. For once you gave me a taste of what it was like and for the first time in my life I felt what everyone else grew up feeling, and it was new and shocking and I'm scared and not used to it - but oh, it feels so absolutely wonderful and I was addicted. For a short while I didn't have to go home to turn on my lights, and for the first time I had somebody to talk to when I'm bored, and for the first time I didn't have to sit on my floor eating tears mixed with instant pasta. I think I like someone holding my hand when I'm scared, and I think I like taking home hot food "Mum" prepares in a container and I think I like watching TV with other people instead of watching it alone. I think I like falling asleep in someone's arms and I think I like fighting over who uses the bathroom first and I think I like kissing and I think I definitely like hugging and I think I like not having to go out alone all the time. I especially like having someone to go home to. I also especially like waking up to your morning breath.

I think I like waking up and not having to desperately think of ways to occupy myself today to escape the loneliness, I think I like my phone blinking as a human reaching out to me, I think I like not having to wear the same pyjamas for days on end. I think I like not having to worry if someone will raise their hand or voice towards me today. I also like having someone go to the hairdressers with me and being able to discuss hair and clothes and perfume and Malono Blahniks and argue with me over Britney Spears. You are lucky to have sisters. I also like lazing around while you play your games or surf your net or feed your dog and just doing nothing in the company of others - because doing nothing in the company of yourself does crazy things to a person's head and heart.

What seems to you and others as something very normal and everyday and mundane... like checking to see if someone has taken out the trash - to me it is brand new and wonderful and I love it because I have never known it and it is what I have always wanted. Companionship.

Can you blame me for being addicted to this brand new feeling of warmth and joy and security?

You may not understand why I'm so addicted to you, this new drug, but here I am trying to explain that I have never felt this amount of comfort and that is why I am desperately, destructively trying my best to cling on to it. I love you for showing me what it feels like to not be alone. I've never known until now. Because I don't ever want to eat tear-flavoured instant pasta again, and I don't ever want to look up to a dark balcony again, and I don't ever want to listen to my neighbours partying whilst I watch 'Iron Chef' alone on TV, talking to my imaginary friend. Yes, I have an imaginary friend and I have had him ever since I was a little girl, he has never dissapeared and he has always been there when I am lonely. It's such a shame he's imaginary. I also used to have an imaginary dog, but let's not go there. I don't ever want to cover crying behind a chair again wondering if Mary*'s dad or Jack*'s mom does this too.
I love you for giving me what I've always been dreaming off, I love you for giving me the kisses and the hugs and the warmth and the comfort and the joy and everything else that was missing in my life where that huge empty hole was. I love you. I didn't understand this kind of love before I met you, but nowI think I do.

Maybe it's hard for you to understand, but here I am staring at the one thing everyone has that I don't, and I'm clinging. I'm sorry if I'm clinging. I don't mean to hurt you or anyone by clinging. You are not used to this, and I don't blame you - you don't understand what it feels like to be always alone and I don't understand what it feels like to always not be alone. Which is hard on you, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Which is why tonight I'm back to being alone, sitting on my floor, watching my 'Iron Chef', eating my instant pasta and leaving my lights on.

God didn't grant me what you have from the start for a reason - maybe I'm just not meant to have it. Maybe if someone gives it to me, like you have, maybe that's too much trouble for others. I don't know, but I do know I don't want to cause you any trouble or upset.

I'm sorry for clinging. I just hope that now you understand, even if just a little bit - why I cling so much. I can only hope that this doesn't destroy what we had together.


Thursday, January 10, 2008; 11:56 PM
A shot to shoot all shots
I had my medical check-up today for my Australian Permanent Residency application, and one of the procedures was to undergo a blood test for HIV antibodies.

Now, all who knows me knows all too well that I am TERRIFIED of sharp objects .... especially injections.
They are seriously. the worst. thing. ever.

So it's no surprise that 15 minutes before my turn, my palms were sweaty, my eyes were misty and my heart was racing at 1500 beats per second.

Thank goodness that McCool's warm, firm grip on my hand and his silly jokes to distract me from the needle kept me on earth, otherwise I would've fainted in the elevator on the way up! Also, his promises of a marvelous Starbucks Strawberry & Cream frappucino after gave me the motivation I needed to brave the shot, nothing like a treat after undergoing a traumatizing ordeal! XD Also, taking chest X-rays with a cute male doctor telling you to "take off your bra" is not really the kind of thing that I should be thinking about when I have just had a 1000-inch needle of death shoved up my arm! Fangirls worldwide would be proud of me.

After, we went to dinner with his family in South Yarra and it was all sorts of great because I had a lot of fun despite being worried about acting stupid in front of his family. I feel accepted today, hooray! =D

Scorpio was shining high in the sky above by the time dinner was over, they drove me home and then I realized I had forgotten my house keys and there was noone home to let me in. So I stood outside my empty apartment for a good half hour, just stargazing - and saw a shooting star!!! Immediately I made a wish, and no words need to be said what wish I made because it would be the same wish every single time.

Now I am exhausted and not wanting to think about work tomorrow, instead I throw my head down on my cool pillow and shut my eyes, counting down till the hours till we next see each other again. I like to think that both of us are fast asleep at the same time, in different places, and that may connect us in some sort of mysterious way and perhaps we could meet in our dreams.

Us. We. are beautiful. You are amazing.

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Wednesday, January 9, 2008; 10:08 PM
conversation snippet
"Hey boy, why are you being such a silly idiot?"

"Because I want to keep you happy!"


Love is always patient and kind.
It is never jealous.
Love is never boastful or conceited.
It is never rude or selfish.
It does not take offense and is not resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins,
but delights in the truth.
It is always ready to excuse, to hope,
and to endure whatever comes.


pleasecomeseeme pleasecomeseeme pleasecomeseeme...

what's the point of having days off from work if i don't get to see you? its worse than long distance because you're just 20 minutes away.

iwanttoseeyou iwanttoseeyou iwanttoseeyou...
ivebeenwantingtoseeyouforthelongesttime. =(


Tuesday, January 8, 2008; 10:25 PM
I finally summoned up enough courage to finally be able to tell you how lonely I feel.

I felt so relieved when I said it, I started crying. Partly because nobody ever knows how lonely I get, and partly because nobody ever cares anyway. Mostly because I'm really scared.

When I told you about my loneliness, you didn't say anything and changed the subject to poop. I never laughed and cried at the same time so hard in my life.

And then I helplessly cry again because now I know I don't have to be lonely anymore, you'll always be there even if just in a little box on my screen. It scares me.

Thank you. =)

I saw this on Postsecret and even though I was pissed off, upset, angry and lonely - it immediately made me jump up and yell at you, "I LOVE YOU!"

Because, goddammit, I do.

(it doesn't matter what you said in return, I just needed you to know.)

I have a folder full of Postsecret postcards that I can relate to saved onto my computer. I hope someday he will ask me to let him see that folder. That's my secret.

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Monday, January 7, 2008; 12:04 AM
Food Fest
And today, I ate.

I ate a lot.

Because, what else can you do when you're lying around at home bored out of your mind and the weather is marvelously cool outside? Also, my brother is a greedy, food-loving pig and what can I say? I share his genes.

So we decided to troop to the city for a smorgasboard of sorts. We started out hefty, with instant noodles as the first agenda on the menu before we head out from home. It was a killer, but by the time the city loomed into sight, Bro was already salivating from the thought of freshly baked cookie-cream puffs.

Thereby, we both had one each (he had custard, I had mango) and by the time we battled our way through the huge gooks of filling inside, I was more than ready to call it a day. My brother, however, was still prepared to fight the good fight.

So we went to Breadtop where he forced upon me a 'Fish Finger Cocktail Bun' whilst he enjoyed a large serving of Garlic Bread.

Okay, that's that. We start walking randomly around the city when all of a sudden we both have an urge for something ...... crispy, something fried, oily and unhealthy - something like KFC.
Don't ask me how, we ended up at KFC. I wailed and protested and flounced away, screaming at my brother to "buy whatever the hell you want!!" and he showed up in front of me, grinning from ear to ear, holding two boxes of Wicked Wings.

As if that's not bad enough, after we both guiltily licked our fingers clean of the Finger Lickin' Good Unhealthiness, he decided that it would only be appropriate if we paid a visit to the nearby asian grocery store where *gasp* garlic roasted peanuts and cuttlefish crackers were going for a steal of $0.99 cents a pop!!!! Of course we have to buy them!! It would be a sin *not* to!!

Five minutes after walking out the store with our tightarse purchases, it's time for dinner. Nevermind that we just had KFC, it's not "dinner material"!!! So we hightail it to a local Malaysian food joint where Bro enjoyed a hearty serve of noodles and I downed a hearty serve of rice. Mind you, I did not finish my meal for fear of my stomach perforating and internal bleeding to death. My brother, however, polished his plate clean.

There you have it, 6 meals in under the span of 6 hours.

So now, here I am, blogging to you my faithful readers the dangers of Overeating. I ran home weeping and confessed this day of sinful indulgement to my McCool and he barely lifted an eyebrow. Then again, what do I expect from a man who devours a 1kg steak and still has room for dessert? XD With all the food I've consumed ever since we started dating, we could've easily run a succesful Melbourne Food Blog...which, come to think of it, seems like a pretty good idea! I think I shall start trying to push this idea to him. (More food dates! Are you reading this, hun? Mwahahahaha.) The weighing scale shall be my worse enemy for the following days to come.

Ah, my McCool. Eats so much and still has a body toned enough to put David Hasselhoff to shame. =) Hopefully I can say the same for myself although I am lucky enough that he is usually my vacuum cleaner when I cannot vacuum up all the food on my plate (which is 98% of the time, 80% in winter). Also, he is talking to me now and updating me every time he collects a new item while playing his video game, which I lurve because .... I AM KEPT IN TOUCH!!! =D Really, he isn't the jerk some people make him out to be. Just cause he's 'Silent Edd' and 'McCool' doesn't mean he's silent or cool towards me, if anything he's only silent and eval to anyone else. When he's with me, he's cheery, cuddlesome, puppy-dog Edd. XD And for that I feel very very very spe-shuls. *^__^*

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Sunday, January 6, 2008; 12:12 AM
For some reason I'm feeling incredibly lonely tonight. I guess everyone feels lonely sometimes for no apparent reason. Just tonight the loneliness is pretty overwhelming.

And the moment I mention it, he comes to the rescue by immediately jumping on his computer and turning on his webcam for me. Figures that eases up the loneliness even if only for a bit.


He's beautifully wonderful and he's mine.

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Saturday, January 5, 2008; 12:21 AM
What will tomorrow bring?
I've submitted my three week's notice at Coffee Bean.

In three weeks I shall be jobless!!!!!!! :D :D :D

Haha, I know it's not really something that should be celebrated, but I felt so liberated after I did it! I mean, I love the job - I love the people (OH I love the people!!), I love my co-workers to death and it's also place full of fond memories where McCool first plucked up the courage to say Hello to me. =)

Today I stayed back even after my shift had ended until the store closed to help my favourite co-worker, Gracie, close the store. She drove me home and we remembered the hilarious things that have ever happened whilst we worked there - like me attempting to put a plastic plate in the grill, or the "blowjob" she gave to the coffee machine, or the grill that burst into flames twice during my shift. I love working with Gracie, she's the best!! It's virtually impossible for anyone to not like her.

Anyways, the CEO of Coffee Bean spoke to me about my resignation (and I was so freaking out) but you know, I've worked here for so long now - and he offered me an open position so that I could come back and work whenever I want, if I ever want to. =)
Gracie also offered me an open position at another store she manages, so that's two open job offers for me already just in case Life doesn't turn out as sweet as it should and I run headlong into a financial crisis.

(Still I could always just live off McCool's bank account. Ssssshhhh, don't tell him. >D )

Also, a student from Blinkbonnie gave me a surprise by ringing me up yesterday and inviting me to go down to the bay with her for a 2 hour horse trail ride!!! YESSS!!! I've been wanting to go on a ride for ages - horsesick anyone, now that Blinkbonnie is closed for holidays?? So Yay I shall be galloping along the beach next Tuesday and I can barely wait. =)

I love how McCool texts me randomly during the day just to say Hey. =))) I love it!! Today I got to see him for a short while before going in to work and he hugged me from behind as I'm standing in front of the mirror - like he always does - I love it whenever he does it and I just want to squee! *^__^* Also he very gentlemanly treated me to a nice lunch with just the two of us (it's been a while!!), so that's more than one way he shows he loves me today. =))) also the way he looks at me but okay this blog will turn into borderline mush-fest if i go there XD

Life couldn't get any sweeter - except, you know - BRITNEY SPEARS IS IN HOSPITAL AND I SINCERELY HOPES SHE'LL BE OKAY!!! D: D: D:
Get better Brit Brit, I'm still rooting for you! Hang in there, bb!!! <333

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Thursday, January 3, 2008; 7:39 PM
How do you know
Amy Adams was right on mark when she sang :

He'll find a new way to show you
A little bit everyday
That's how you know he loves you
He'll find some way to tell you
With the little things he'll do
That's how you know he's your love
His heart will be yours forever
Something everyday will show
That's how you know he's yours

Today McCool showed up at work to see me despite having to rush to the city straightaway, just so he could return my watch and bracelet I left at his place yesterday. 5 seconds of seeing his face is much better than nothing! :D
Yesterday McCool let me sit on his lap all day long even though his tummy was hurting and his inenr thighs were sore.
The day before he walked me to the bus stop and offered me his jacket for the cold even though he was cold himself and the couch indoors was definitely a snugglier place to be.
He never wears tank tops outside, and I mentioned he should, and now he wears them so much more often out.

All the little things. =) That's how I know he loves me! Damn your charming powers, McCool!! *shakes fist*

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Tuesday, January 1, 2008; 11:07 PM
Also, my New Year's resolution is that next year I will not be spending New Year's Eve alone when the clock strucks midnight!! I will get a New Year's kiss next year DAMMIT!!!



A fresh start

In lieu of a fresh new start to a fresh new year, let's leave the recent string of emo posts behind and celebrate a year of new beginning, adventures and plenty more magic to come!

Now for a typical New Year meme. =)

List the most important thing you can remember from each month of 2007 :

January : Met up with one of my best friends from back home in Malaysia for a memorable night out.
February : Said goodbye to my dog, who knew it would really be goodbye for good?
March : Went to watch Walking With Dinosaurs!! :D Also, Sanjaya was on American Idol. Haha!
April : Met one of the most amazing boys I know, and who hopefully will continue to inspire me throughout 2008 as he has done so this past year. Also the best birthday EVAR!!
May : Something glorious ended and something glorious began. The beginning of a rollercoaster ride of emotions. :)
June : MJY and Sammy start wearing each other out. Our trio is no longer a trio. D:
August : Eadwine my luv all the way from the Netherlands comes to visit!!! XD
September : Killer Hailstorm attempts to murder Yin on way home from horse barn. Yin survived the calamity with minor cuts and bruises.
October : Went out to the field at an ungodly hour in the morning so he could take photos of light graffiti and permanently casting one of our sweetest memories in my brain for good. Also, meeting his family at a knee-shaking, nerve-wrecking, palms-sweating dinner.
November : Finally finish Uni and graduated!!! At the expense of my friends breaking up, our sanities vanished and yet fully enjoying every minute of our hard work.
December : Family comes to visit in Melbourne. Year ends with the biggest fright of my life when McCool and I run into the biggest obstacle yet.

I'm just thankful that 2008 has opened on a good note, with friends pledging loyalties, family pledging support and loved one pledging, well, love. Let's just hope that whatever hurdles 2008 throws our way, we are able to leap right over them like an Olympic champion. =)

Cheers everyone!


Please please please please please please please...

I've never wanted anything so much in my entire life.

I can't lose you.