Friday, February 29, 2008; 11:43 PM
A bit of everything
I've been dreaming of the things
I've learnt about a boy whose bleeding,
celebrate to elevate
I will take you as you are
Please accept me as I am
Knowing you, knowing my
ignorance to more then life

Calling out for extra help
you've got to let me in or let me out

Lyrics from About A Boy, which coincidentally is one of my more favoured movies. Anyways, I've finally completed Phoenix Wright : Ace Attorney, with much much head spillage and migraines along the way. Who would've thought murder cases could be so complicated? I now know that law is certainly not my true calling - although my brother did look at the game and testified that a real court of law is nothing like Phoenix Wright (well, DUH.) because if it was, I would enrol into law school immediately!

okay, maybe I just want to point my finger at random people and yell 'Objection!!!'
McCool has been the victim of my new-fangled crime-solving blood lately as I commit myself to finding suspicious evidence in the most mundane of everyday items, the latest being a carton from a McDonald's chicken burger lying very suspiciously outside his post box. Suspicious! It's suspicious!

Time to download the next three games in the franchise!!! *cackles gleefully*

My ex-coworkers have been contacting me, asking me to come back to work. T___T I...I... I AM TOUCHED!!! I have already devised a plan. If indeed I do end up working on bonus shift next week and a customer orders a wrong drink, or orders something stupid - I will point my finger at said customer and yell, "OBJECTION!!!!"
That, is my new goal in life.

Ah, to make coffee again.... even just once... =D

Tomorrow I am back working at the barn after a much prolonged absence - read: bankrupt and I have been shoving all my stablehand duties to Lisa with much guilt on my part. XD But still, it will be good to go back to work after such a long break, my butt has been growing in size and I can hear it protesting from here! Certainly these muscles need toning too. Must! not! abandon! abs! Also McCool has been playing around with "alleged flab" on my arms, much to my horror. I DO NOT DO FLAB. Despite his valiant attempts to refute the word "flab", instead replacing it with "soft flesh", I have to find that both 'flab' and 'soft flesh' .... jiggles!! That's right, they jiggle! I don't feel it and I certainly don't notice it and I most definitely don't see it, but if someone claims I have "flab / soft flesh", then it's time to do something about it!!! There's something about working at the barn which produces automatically toned muscles...

Also, I know I have been abandoning Sketch A Day for quite a few days now. Man, it's only just started and already I have been slack. I have a good excuse though!

...No, not really. BUT. I will make it up. Like today, I have a sketch for today.

Random quick Cleris fanart, if you must, especially since I haven't done any in a long while and yet I was still awarded an award for one of the best fanartists on the pink Cleris forums. *hides under a rock in shame*

Also, I tried my very first alcohol a few nights ago in McCool's room - the circumstances under which it was consumed was unfortunately quite unfortunate - to sum things up, we were fighting, I was crying, his beer glass ended up in my hand while he went to pee and in my fit of emotion, I threw the contents of said glass down my throat.
Not very pleasant... first thoughts : FIZZY!!! Next : BITTER!!! Next : BURNING!!!
And then the room started to spin and pointless laughter set in.

....That stuff is dangerous! Plus, it tasted real gross. I'm never going near alcohol again until my 21st birthday if I can persuade myself to try a few more sips of nicer tasting drinks.

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Sunday, February 24, 2008; 1:04 AM
Sketch of the day:
Is tittled 'Fuck U Asshole' and is dedicated to my wonderful and sometimes not-so wonderful boy.


Saturday, February 23, 2008; 1:31 PM
Another sleepless night last night. Imagine my despair as I saw the sun rise over the horizon. That's almost two nights without sleep now... aaaaaaahhh. I feel like Britney Spears. At least she gets carted away to a hospital. I just get to torment myself, isn't that nice?

It's not that I don't want to sleep.... I just can't. The moment I lay my head down on my pillow, my brain is just flooded with thoughts, words, memories... and it keeps going on and on, I can't drown them out even with music or DS or reading or anything. It's tormenting, to say the least and I'm beginning to feel quite emotionally drained and physically weary. I don't want to purchase sleeping tablets either because I'm so very genuinely too afraid I wouldn't be able to resist the temptation of swallowing the entire bottle.

I'm still holding myself together. For my sake... and for our sake. But I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on by myself...

I sincerely hope I can get some sleep tonight. But right now, from the looks of it... it seems unlikely. I already feel despair sinking in. Please Yin, don't think. Think positive. Please!
I can't do this by myself. I think I need help...


Friday, February 22, 2008; 9:01 PM
Um, random anyone?
So, another uneventful day in the Yin camp, spent staring at Facebook and playing Ouendan and Phoenix Wright on repeat. Man....I need a life. I would have gone into the city to mug around with my buddy MJY but... oh, did you see the wind outside??? I can't be bothered battling it, also I just did my laundry and I can't be bothered to potentially dirty my clean clothes again. //Excuses excuses.
Yes, it is just me being lazy. No, I do not have a life. Desperately need one though, hey my birthday is in a couple of months, maybe I should ask for a life. My brother woke up this morning and came out of his room and let out a yell of shock. My buttocks jumped five feet of the chair and turned around in alarm and he pointed at me, "This is the third day in a row you've been home!! What's going on!?!?!"

Why, thank you for pointing it out, Captain Obvious. Tsk tsk tsk. Mind you, I would certainly not sit at home three days in a row if only I had a.... a purpose to go outside! Taking out the trash does not count.
..........Man, I need a full-time life and a full-time boyfriend. It's just a fact!

Also, Big M looks down on me now because I cannot, to the best of my abilities, pass Level 1 on Super Mario Bros. Goddamit, is it me or are those turtles with a purpose : take Yin down before she reaches the finish line. Mario is cute, but he would be a lot cuter if he had the power to shoot killer spaghetti italian laser beams at enemies instead of shabbily trying to jump on their heads. Who takes down enemies by jumping on heads anyway?! I think I should take to jumping off balconies onto heads of passer-bys that look suspicious. Hey, Mario can't be wrong!

I have been scaring off potential employers with my hyper sounding emails and Cover Letters, I think it's the abundance of '!!!!!!' I use at the end of every sentence. No wonder I still can't get a job. Hmm. Either that or maybe I JUST HAVE BEEN TOO LAZY TO DEVELOP MY PORTFOLIO AAAAAAHHH also my resume is kinda maybe a bit too long and overbearing at 5 pages but I got an email back from a Games Studio today - they must be impressed with my fangirly perfumed pink cover letter!!! And I will have to send in a portfolio A.S.A.P because they cannot wait to know this girl who is all about Cloud and Aerith and pink and yellow flowers and unicorns.
Or not.
But let's keep our fingers crossed!!

Anyways, sketch of the day is a quick Phoenix Wright x Mia Fey fanart, because I love them together and Maya can be very annoying. (click for larger original size)

I AM SORRY I don't know how to do his impossible gravity-defying spikes and also he looks too bishie to be true, BUT SHUSH of course he has to be bishie, I am after all a Professional Fangirl and all males, in my eyes, must be bishie!!

Wow, seeing my crappy art like this really makes me realize how much polishing up I have to work on. Well, a year without proper art does this to you, I suppose.

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"Please explain so that I might be shocked along with the rest of the court."

AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA. LOLOLOLZ. I love the Phoenix Wright judge, he is love, omg, ahahahaha. Can't....breath.... What kind of a judge is this?!?! Oh, the lulz. <3

Phoenix Wright dialogue is Love!

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Thursday, February 21, 2008; 7:39 PM
happy end of new year
I'm getting so used to being ditched by my brother. I hate dinner time, gah.

I'm getting used to this again. It's a little bit sad, but it's not much difference to what I was once used to anyway. I think I might go for a little walk soon, just because the sunset looks promising and also there's supposed to be a lunar eclipse tonight. And indulge myself in some ice-cream from the milk bar - the uncle who runs the store is very nice.

What else can one do in solitary-ditched-ness? I can't remember what I used to do way back when. There's only so much Ouendan one can play (and might I say that it is a sinfully addictive game!) and there's nothing good on TV either and I suppose I could always call a friend to chat, but of course everyone else will be enjoying themselves with their family - and UGH bro, if not for you I would be at my highschool reunion dinner right now having a blast - but never mind, I'm used to this.

Not even a single word, but all I can do is wait.

Also, I think in order to motivate myself to work on my showreel, I will start drawing more, so I have made a resolution to Draw-A-Day. (let's just hope I'll stick to it!) I will attempt to draw something every day, even if it is just a 5 second unidentifiable doodle of a cat taking a dump. You know. Hopefully it will get me out of my year-long art slump as well as give me something fresh to think about every day.
Anyways, doodle for today, done in MS Paint because my computer ran out of RAM for any other program to run.

It started out as the 7-UP dude, only now it's the 7-Up dude and Usopp's sexually confused love child, because he/she looks like a girl and has a long nose. Okay, anyways. Take That! *phoenix wright stance*

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008; 6:26 PM
Well, whatever.
Anyways, I finally got the long-awaited micro SD card for the Nintendo DS and I've been on a DS spree. Phoenix Wright is awesome and just as equally FRUS-TRA-TING. Did I mention I hate lawyers? Yes, well, I hate lawyers. Maybe I'm just too stupid and impatient for games like Phoenix Wright, haha, but it is fun oh very fun. Me thinks I should download the latest Apollo Justice too.

Big M has been a blessing in disguise, sending me all the games I should be playing and programs for trimming the sizes and stuff. Very very cool. So on this rainy, extremely mundane and uneventful day, my time has been spent yelling at Phoenix Wright in frustration and greedily gobbling whatever juicy morsels Big M sends my way.

Also, how cute is Chocobo Fables!? I almost fell of my chair in delight when the Vivi lookalike appeared.

In other news, I am being very careful with my finances because I am currently unemployed and completely unmotivated to look for a new job. Something about the responsibilities of growing up... hahaha. I must admit, it is quite nice to be able to relax around without worrying about work, but one can only be a bum for so long. I can't seem to wipe out the niggling feeling that I'll be returning to Coffee Bean after renovations... not that I mind, just that it's not really financially beneficial on my part, heh. I really should start drawing again. SO UNMOTIVATED UGH.

Well, life is boring mostly - broke, unemployed and well, bored - but it's not too bad really, I suppose one must really thank the DS gods for the blessings of this little magical hand-held console!


Saturday, February 16, 2008; 10:41 PM
After whining for hours on end about how I'm struggling to write the essay about Cloud and Aerith :

McCool : It's easy babe, no stressing. Just think about us.

Me : What do you mean?

McCool : Just think of me as Cloud, and you're my Aerith. It's quite similar, isn't it? Cloud fell in love with Aerith, that's all there is to it.

*dorks* *^____^*
Friday, February 15, 2008; 2:10 PM
Phew phew phew phew phew.

I am so glad it's the 15th now because it means that horrible day of lovey-dovey and presents and roses is over! Usually I love love love Valentine's Day (because I get to take home hordes of cards and roses! plus it's cute to see happy couples everywhere) but this year, Valentine's Day sucked major major majorly. Possibly one of the worsts I've ever had. Long story cut short, it sucked. That is all. Thanks, Hallmark for making a celebration out of nothing.

I have my IELTS exam tomorrow and I'm not really looking forward to it either even though I know both me and McCool will ace it with no problems. On Monday we are meeting up with our buddies from Uni again so that will be fun too.

I still have that essay to write for the pink forums, lol. No, I haven't done it yet even though I said I would. I'll do it tonight, before the admins set their dogs on me. XD

This is a merely spammy post with no real point to it whatsoever, I just needed to rant a little about the suck-tacular Valentine's Day I had. D: This year I hate hate hate Valentine's Day, and for more reasons than the fact that it culminated into a horrendous sob-fest at the end of the night too. D: Ugh, gawds, this year's sucked so bad.

I hope you guys at least had a better one than I did. D:


Monday, February 11, 2008; 10:52 PM
fields of gold
A couple of weeks ago I was down at the barn before my riding lesson, and the farrier was there, trimming the horses' feet. It was a late, lazy afternoon as I stood leaning against the wooden post, watching the farrier clip away at the edges of a hoof, listening to the contented hrruumphs and happy munching of relaxed ponies. The farrier's truck was parked alongside the stalls, a steaming thermos flask of hot coffee releasing a thin swirl of smoke, the radio set on the Golden Oldies as the sun slowly sailed lower towards the earth, spreading a flare of colour and light all across the lush paddocks and colouring everything golden.

Gumboots pushed her muzzle into the crook of my neck and gently blew into my ear as I idly scratched her ears. The song on the radio sounded oddly familiar, and I turned my concentration to the husky, mellow voice on the radio as I recognized the lyrics.

Without thinking, I turned to the old farrier and said, "This is my favourite song."

He looked up from under the hoof of a horse and said something about how wonderful it is that a young girl still recognizes classic songs. I barely heard what he said as I listened to the song, because I just realized, just then, in a complete spur of the moment as Gumboots nibbled my hair, that it is my favourite song.

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Among the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love?
Upon the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover's soul
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold

I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We will walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
As you lie in fields of gold

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
We walked in fields of gold

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Saturday, February 9, 2008; 8:57 PM
Do you understand how good it feels to finally have a proper, home-cooked meal? With rice and meat and greens and all that good stuff.

Oh, I think I am in paradise.

After sneaking over to McCool's place at 2.30 am yesterday, I have arrived in paradise. :)

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Thursday, February 7, 2008; 10:23 PM
I have seen them
I have seen them.

The Edison Chen/Gillian Chung/Cecilia Cheung sex scandal pictures, I have seen them. Oh my eyes, my eyes, they bleeeeed~!!!! This is what happens when one camps on Ohnotheydidnt! for way too long.

Edison's apology totally cracked me up though.... LOL at "strange strange ordeal" (yes, it is very strange.) and "let's help the wounded heal their wounds". I LMFAOed for a good ten minutes or so. xDDD Dude, what are you on about? He sounds like he's talking about some horrible act of terrorism or some sort of natural disaster - it's just nekkid photos!! You took 'em, you're famous, you should expect that they will be leaked if you don't delete them straightaway, now just suck it up and laugh! It's not like anyone's never seen anyone nekkid before, srzly.

Although I must admit I'm a little dissapointed at.... the unsatisfactory size of Edison's nookies, lolz. Oh, I used to have the hots for Edison Chen. He's hot! Also, the fact that he's posing in all those pictures made me LOLOLOLOL until I had no breath left to LOL no more.

Now sit back and watch all the stereotyping of 'Asian sizes' explode.

Oh Edison, to think that you once made me all fangirly and bothered whenever you appeared on-screen. Don't worry bb, I'd still hit that. Even though you can be such a ridiculous douchebag, but you provide the Lulz anyway. Case in point :

LOLOLZ bb, srzly?!

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A Rat's Year
I picked up the ringing phone, running through my head the many witty comebacks I would snort to the telemarketer on the line, but instead I was greeted through the receiver with a deafening blare of Chinese New Year music with gongs and cymbals and drums and little girls screaming, "Gong Xi Gong Xi Gong Xi Ni~!!!" followed with my mum's voice rapping calmly into the phone, "Is that you?" I could picture in my mind her sighing with one hand resignedly clasped over one ear to drown out the screeching voices of young Happy New Year singers.

I laughed, fondly remembering New Year in KL as a raucous, noisy affair, and after a short conversation with mum, she passed the phone to my grandmum, who was on the verge of grabbing the phone and hiding it down her shirt in her eagerness to hear the voice of her Australia-living granddaughter.
Grandmum greeted me with the exuberance and excitement of a 20-year old, and I greeted her back with the same amount of enthusiasm, "Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Year!", half-wishing that a red packet would magically sail through the air and land in my hand.

There was a tinge of dissapointment in her voice as I informed her that Bro was away at work and wouldn't be home till late, and I felt a little sad as I put the phone down. I miss celebrating New Year's with my family in Malaysia, the noise and annoyance and fights and laughter and food (oh food.) and money and new clothes and everything else in between. I think I just realized how fast we are all growing up and how much everything can change. Is it bad of me that I think of my dog and miss spending New Year's with him rather so than with my family? I've never had any celebration without my dog by my side. In a way, I am kinda relieved that I am not in KL right now, because having noisy, happy New Year's without my dog running around faithfully and excitedly around my ankles would be too much for me to bear.

Anyways, it sounds like a merry New Year back home, from what I can hear over the phone - just like every other year, and it is good. Hearing their happy voices and music over the phone fills me with a satisfied, feel-good sensation. I am happy for their happiness and right here, I too, am happy. Everything feels good! =)


Wednesday, February 6, 2008; 11:56 PM
Happy New Year
Happy Chinese New Year to all of you who celebrate it!!! =]

I had a great New Year's Eve, despite this being my first New Year's away from my family and I had foreseen a boring new year alone at home. Instead, McCool's family invited me to their Reunion Dinner and it would be the first time I'm meeting the 'Big Boss' aka Dad McCool.

Okay, time to panic.

I brushed my teeth twice, as an idea of my level of panic. Haha! McCool whisked by to pick me up in the afternoon, listened to me pester him about wheter I should wear a skirt or jeans x826372 times, and then swept me to the Belgian beer cafe where we idled and flirted our way through the evening. When the time finally came for me to meet the Big Boss, I panicked and completely forgot the greeting I had rehearsed in the perfect-est Chinese I could muster, which was "Nice to meet you Uncle, Happy and Prosperous New Year!"
Instead what came out of my mouth sounded suspiciously like a fish flopping around the lines of "Hiyaunclehowyou?" as I shaked his hand clammily. I didn't even introduce myself. I wanted to die. AGH. agh agh agh. And then I ran away as fast as I politely could while McCool shook his head in amusement.

Oh, the dinner went fairly well though, despite it being another dinner with all his cousins and extended family. I felt a lot more in place as I did previously especially as I've gotten closer to Sisters McCool. It was nice actually. I genuinely enjoyed myself. It was good. =]

Yeah, it's been a great start to a fantastic New Year. Here's to all good things that will come! *clinks toast*

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Tuesday, February 5, 2008; 10:03 PM
To me, you are sacred.

Everything about you and us - is sacred to me, from the slightest touch to the fleeting glances. If there is only one special love in a girl's entire lifetime, mine would be you.

So, I'll wait. Patiently and lovingly, until you are ready. I'll be your harbour. When you're ready, I'll be here. I've never wanted to cherish anyone as much as you.

To me, you are sacred.
Monday, February 4, 2008; 12:40 PM
fandom, coffee, and a whole lot o' happy
Seriously, do we really need pages and pages long worth of posts arguing wheter Maiden Over The Planet (Aerith's story in the FF7 Compilation) is canon or not?! My fandom is slowly but surely killing my brain, lolz. One of the reasons why I don't really post that much anymore - it keelz the love! The looove!! (of two entirely fictional video game characters made out of pixels BUT okaynvm.)

I also still have to write an essay for the new DF website (um, I have been lazy) and I think I will do that today whilst I have the free time. Also, I better not let McCool catch me writing an analytical essay for a video game coupling because he will point and laugh the geek out of me and then I will proceed to smash his Xbox with a mallet, which really does not sound healthy, no? Ah well, it's just an essay. No biggie. The pink people have been waiting for it for a while and I daren't dissapoint! I daresay I'll rather enjoy writing it, since I haven't been involved in the pink fandom for so long. (A conscious effort to suppress my inner geek perhaps?! It almost came out again when I saw the Aerith PlayArts figure in stores the other day and squee-ed ever so loudly, startling poor MJY right out of his skin.)

We're having a Yum Cha reunion lunch thingamajing tomorrow for Chinese New Year and I am gleefully looking forward to it because it's been soooo long since I've seen most of my friends from Uni! Me and MJY have made a pact to eat unlimited amounts of congee (him) and mango pudding (me) otherwise a waiter shall be brutally slaughtered.

I really should venture out from the confinements of my home today to buy new razor blades (shaving armpits with blunt blades are really bad) and perhaps some crumpets to enjoy with my Tightarse Toaster named Toasty. I can't be bothered though, because PJs are so comfy! Plus, I'm already sunburnt enough. If only something could motivate me, hmm, like a Vanilla Sky. //lame

Me and McCool are delving into the realms of first shared commitment yet, with plans to buy a coffee machine! I can't wait, because I must perfect that rosetta before starting to free pour bunnies and lions and swans into my coffee which I do not drink. I think it would be a good thing, because then everytime we argue all I have to do is free pour a cute lil creature in espresso and use it as a peace offering (along with the threat off "If we break up I get the coffee machine!!!11! Say Goodbye to Affogato forevaahh!1!!!" but of course we will never break up I am just saying you know, like an emergency fire drill kinda thing. eep. also he has a PS3 and I need that for FF13 so there is no way we are breaking up until that game comes out lol but you know i am kidding babe we will always be together *cheese*) She shall be our baby, a beautiful mould of 15 bar pump pressure, heat exchanger, semi-automatic machine of pure steel and endurance, with the ability to brew and steam at the same time, coiled tube maintaining pressure and ideal temperatures for both shot extractions and milk frothing most could only dream of. The height of excellence and elegance and beauty, the pride and joy in our new beginning towards coffee excellence!
(Why do I have a feeling I will devote more time to this machine than McCool devotes to XBox? I think the constant whirring of steaming froth will soon become a background noise more familiar than the flushing of toilets, also this means I think I will have to equate for a fair share towards the amount of the electricity bill usage at the McCool residence, also I will have to buy a 'No Touching Without Permission Or I Will Eat Your Dog!!1!11!' sign to hang on my beautiful baby whilst I am not experimenting on perfecting my milk steaming techniques and I will probably freak and make sure everyone washes their hands and holds their breath before going in a 5 meter radius of my precious darling.)
Ah, so many perks of being a barista. I personally feel that being a barista is one of the classiest and sexiest occupations around. We be so cool, flippin' our lattes and extractin' our shots whilst looking smokin' hott at the same time. C'mon, everyone wants to date a barista. Even McCool admits that my uniform makes me look like the best fine thing since mocha lattes.

I'm gonna miss the barista lifestyle where all we do is make coffee and stand around looking cool, enjoying envious looks from people passing by, while of course earning more than your average chef. *weeps dramatically*

Also, I think all of you should definitely abuse my HUGS BUTTON!!! It's been sitting there on my right hand menu for ages, a little bit abandoned. =D

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